Sunday, October 4, 2009

I've been staring at my computer screen for 10 minutes. Although I keep getting distracted by Antiques Roadshow, I know what I want to write. But I know if I do write it, it becomes more real. It's like procrastination. Whenever I had to write a paper, I had all these ideas floating around in my head, and nothing happened with them, because they were up there not repeating to my fingers, to the keys, to the screen. The first step was always the hardest. The first step being writing the first sentence. Same thing going on here. If I start writing out this stuff, it might spiral out of control till it's finished, and might be the first step to things. But the thing about real life is there are no deadlines. Nothing has to get done. I need deadlines. I started to really like them towards the end of school, I used to dread them. At work I love having a crazy deadline to meet. So maybe if I do write out everything nothing will come of it anyway. But in this case, because of the subject matter, it would be another notch contributing to my life. Maybe that's what I'm really afraid of.

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