This is something I wrote in class today (obviously a little rewritten):
Dragon fly wings.
Raccoon tails hanging from my ears.
Under dead leafs I like to sleep.
My lips are red as blood, and my eyes dark as charred wood.
Feathery white wings.
My slippers are of soft river moss.
The canopy of the trees, by the sun and the moon, is where I dwell.
Blossoms and dew sit upon my brow.
As for WOW...i'm still at it. level 21 night elf hunter. What am i doing....
“If you can’t beat em, join em.”
Let me start at the beginning. Back in the day I used to play video games because I thought it was funny and fun, mostly funny. I would just press every button and have no idea what I was doing and just laugh and laugh. But James came along. My lovely freaking James and all his crazy gaming craziness. Back in October I started messing around playing Super Smash Brothers Melee remembering the good old times laughing and what not. Colin came over quite often and the three of us would duel. My chosen character Pikachu, Colin as Marth and James as Ganondorf. James mind you is a two-year freaking veteran at this game and knows Ganondorf as if he were his own uncle or something; Colin has a history of video games but stopped when he realized they were too distracting from his studies. And there’s me no knowledge or past experience. And over the days I learned Pickachu and everything the little yellow rat thing does. Mostly James just kicked our Asses. Even two on one was nearly impossible. Either way break came around or I was excited to play with some of the guys back home who are also extremely good players. Wesley –who plays as Sheik and Philippe who plays as Falco were caught off guard the first few rounds but soon figured out my wimpy little lightning bold moves and tore me up. Still this allotted for much practice, I could safely say I played maybe an hour a day. Soon I was getting two three lives on James in a five life match. I started actually caring and making sure everything I was doing wasn’t random, and I started improving over that month I gained so much experience that when I came back to Humboldt I had earned the nickname “pika-whore” and I could definitely hold my own. Now I have been practicing with Fox and almost every time I can beat James although I am sure soon he will be able to kick my ass once he gets used to me again. He has a knack for games in general and seems to be able to catch on a perform beautifully at anything that requires that “gamers mindset or strategy”. But yes this was only the beginning.
So yes Fox fits my fighting style and yes I swore this would be the only video game I would ever play. However James plays WoW or World Of Warcraft. Something I despise with all my heart because it is one of the main reasons for stress in our relationship. I understand that he never wanted to get started in the first place, but when it causes you to sit on your ass at home not getting work it really does put a damper on any situation. Either way he finally got his night elf hunter to level 60 and the time he spent on the game tapered off, and we went home for break. There all his friends (who all play WoW too, except the wise ones) talked and talked and talked about it till I thought I would die from realizing that it could destroy the damn world. Boys (and girls) all over the world would start playing WoW instead of going to work and entire economies would fail. We came back after a long break without fighting about WoW. And classes started for both of us this time and things seem generally better. Then one day out of the blue I was like hey can I mess around on that. I warn all this is the worst move one can make if you wish to avoid this game. I start messing around and suddenly quests are being thrown at me and lo and behold I let James put the game on my comp for ten day free trial and I have a level 10 night elf hunter in less then a week. How the hell did this happen!!!!! I go from hating the game to playing it?! WTF Now I’m wondering if I let James off easy. Or did I just solve all our problems by playing a game that caused us so much grief. Also his upcoming start at Target seems to be relieving some stress, and the fact that we can play on the game together at the same time, and the fact that he is dedicating time to school also seems to have relieved a lot of tension. But what do I tell all my girlfriends whom I complained to so much about it. I just gave in? Maybe I should just keep it on the DL for a while see if it lasts. But the good thing is it’s not getting in the way of school work in fact I started this in the height of the first midterm round and all the grades I have gotten back so far are a’s and b’s. So if you cant beat em join em I suppose…we shall see how things go for the next ten days…I’ll try to report back on whether I am turning into a gamer or if I’m just experimenting-hell its college.
Check this out if one is bored and has time on their hands I happen to think its really really funny. Don’t blame me if you don’t!
http://www.dubbed.rules.it/
I read back over my blog today not surprised to find that I have grown since I started back then. Gosh am I thankful that I have grown. I will always stand by my realization that college saved my life. Education saved my life. I wonder sometimes where I would be without it, probably at home the same mostly, except that I think I would comprehend things differently and my mind would be quite narrow compared to now. Last night (and often at night) I was scared again. I don’t know of what but I just lay there and I feel like things are pulling away from me, and the sky is ever expanding until space is all there is. I think I’m just frightened about the future only because I do not know what is coming up. I don’t want certain things in my life to end, or to start for that matter. James sleepily listened to me and tried to answer my questions but he either doesn’t think the same way I do, or he had no idea what I'm talking about to begin with. Poor boy, I give him the worst time. All he wants to do is go to sleep and I sit there blabbing on about bluntly honest things. I don’t understand how he can stand to be with me. Last night I told him how I continually want to change him in to what I want him be. A couple of my friends say they have that problem in relationships too. I don’t really want him to change; I just want him to grow. I want him to do everything he possibly can to be the best person he can be. And in my opinion to do that is to read, go to school and have an open mind, and so I think James should do the same. Then I think to myself, well he does do those things on occasion and he has other things that make him grow too. But I realize what I want him to do is think the same way I do. I like to think of myself as ever growing. I mean that I am never fixed in one concrete spot. That my mind is ever growing and adapting to the new things I learn and that challenge my bias and sometimes even convert them. Jeez I say to myself. Aren’t I always the one to say there are more ways to approach life then one can ever know and there is not one right way to do it, so that gives me literally no right to feel the way I do. Sigh…I'm destructive sometimes, and I disappoint myself a lot. But as I said I’m ever growing and maybe one day I’ll get over it.
I am taking Living Myths: The Quest for Self with David Sander. It’s a religious studies 300 level course. It’s my favorite class and so far topping the charts of favorite classes at Humboldt State University. Basically we are exploring myth as a primordial and universally human way of knowing. Myth means story in Greek. Some things my teacher said about the course: “we can think of myth as a forest of unknown size. We are going to take a likely looking path into the forest, but by the time we get to the other side, we will have seen only a fraction of the whole. Even so, we will have gained experience to help us when we reenter the forest in the future, on different paths…myth is a medium between self and other, between time and eternity, and between conscious and unconscious levels of our being…Myths create worlds of perception and meaning, and these worlds have boundaries. In each of these worlds are an everyday place, an underworld and a heaven, and in each is a sacred center. The center is the focus of the quest. Our understanding of this quest comes through symbols, and there are few definitive answers.”
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