The tub needs to be cleaned, but I slip into the water anyway. I am akin to the walrus. I turn pink in the heat. Blotchy even. My blubber rolling back and forth as I lower myself for the resting. Sometimes I sit the entire time upright, staring at my naval. Now I lay back, the better part of my legs sticking out like monoliths.

First I am reminded of all the tubs I’ve bathed in. Humboldt under the redwoods in the Finnish barrel, with the rain and wind making the nearly boiling water bearable. Is it normal to be homesick for a place that’s not your home?

Tonight though, I am thinking of barren expanse. Strapped sideways in a belt, propped against pillows, ‘revelry’ floating through my ears, I watched as it glided by through the window. I put my hand on the glass behind me, feeling the hot pane. Outside, ancient ocean mudflats, abandoned gold tunnels, and dusty dark cinder cone peaks. I imagined how quiet it was near those places. I pushed against the ceiling, knowing that beyond it the hot sun, the only thing in a vast bleak sky waited, the slave driver of the desert.

Pushing my hands flat behind my head, I feel the porcelain of the tub cold against my palms. Wild thoughts enter my mind. Memories, secrets, wish, mostly about things I don’t have the gumption to actually do. A word I’ve thought about before, but recently have been replaced with things like adulthood, economy, responsibility, loyalty….it’s escapism.

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I had this whole four paragraphs written about myself. What happened to it? It got lost in the mysterious world of clipboards, while I was editing the KROQ post for readability issues. Yep...copy paste can be a dangerous process. But it's cool, I actually figured out where the clipboard can be found on a mac, and that it must only save the last cut/copy you select.

The first two paragraphs were complaints about how generally when things start to go right in life, other things fall apart. I've been busy lately, both at work and in my so-called social life. I think that it has had a positive impact on my mental health and my relationship. However there is always a price to pay, literally. Bills always sneak up on you...they really make a month just disappear from existence.

The remaining paragraphs discussed writing. That I am thrilled to be writing so much, and I only have yelp to thank. Even if I am not writing about myself, or when I do write they tend to be short review-like paragraphs, I am still writing. Any writing is good writing in my opinion. I also mentioned that I'm interested in taking academic classes in writing. Yes...going back to school, but only at the community college level, and taking technical writing classes. Classes that will be useful in a career, no more fru-fru poetry classes. The experience would be different because I already have a degree...I could stop if I decided that professional writing isn't really something I'm interested in after all.

I think that just about recaps what I lost in cyberspace. I have more to write about in life...but I'm not sure I want to. It's kind of boring. Weather...I hate the weather. Sun burns...I got at weenie roast. Middlesex(the book)...my own sexuality. Wait...that last one might be interesting! Cept...how much do I want to divulge about my private life online? I mean...are there some lines I should draw?

Which brings me to my next point, I need to remodel my blog. As it is right now, it's not reader friendly. The font is hard to see. Separating sections with bold titles is kind of lame, and it might be nicer to have tabs. As it is right now, I have no idea how to navigate the html codes and crap. I need to get a tutor in such ways. I know for a fact that the title section is busted, because for months I've been trying to insert a picture in that empty red bar up there, and it just never shows up. Anywhoooo...in time I suppose.

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KROQ Weenie Roast & Live Music in General

Live Music in General

Let's see I haven't seen that many live performances. I've seen music live, just not often, and generally not of the kind you hear everyday on mainstream radio (I reviewed KROQ on yelp, if you need to know how I feel about that issue). This was one of the first times I have been faced with matching recordings to real live human beings. Remember when you were a little kid, and you didn't have a clue that your teacher actually existed in the real world outside the classroom? That they had lives of their own, and they didn't just revolve around learning the alphabet? That's how I feel sometimes when I see 'famous' people in real life. I realize, oh shit they're human beings too. And music often reveals the quirky, intimate, and generally most out going side of a human being. While I might have seen Craig Robinson at a bar, even talked with him, I didn't really see 'inside' him for lack of a better word. When you see musicians preforming live, you get quite a good glimpse. Or maybe I'm just extrapolating too much from the way someone holds the microphone, sets up the drum kit etc.

Weenie Roast Review:

Pictures on facebook could be used as visual aids. See my yelp for review of KROQ, and the venue.

Least Favorites--->
Hollywood Undead: Don't get me started about these guys. How anyone takes them seriously is a mystery to me. They wear masks on stage, I presume to seem 'badass', but they sound like an emo Linkin Park.
Big B: Overweight dude who was really interested in promoting his name and new album...lame.

They were okay--->
Anberlin: is pretty generic. I don' think I could pick their music out of a bunch that sounded similar. But for some reason a lot of people are in to them. The people I am speaking of are...people who primarily use only KROQ as a music source.
White Lies: who are you guys? They sort of sounded like Interpol...meh generic in the same way Anberlin seems.
The Airborne Toxic Event: No idea who they are either...but they had a violin. We ate during their set.
Rancid: I mean Rancid is 18 years old...and I appreciate what they've acheived and that they're important to their genre, but do they tickle my pickle? Not really. They had an awesome veteran feel to their stage preformance however.
Jimmy Eat World: Same situation as Rancid. Except their stage presence was kinda boring. They played songs that were new, and no one seemed really into it.
Asher Roth: Really great at entertaining a crowd. Again, just dosn't tickle my pickle.
Cage the Elephant: The lead singer was obtuse. Eccentric, I didn't know if he was having a coniption or singing. But he was certainly passionate. Although I could do with less screaming.

Liked a lot---->
DJ AM and Travis Barker: I don't really know anything about either of them. Barker was the drummer in the band Blink 182. The set they played was cool cause it spanned rock and roll and Barker drummed for like 40 minutes straight.
Yeah Yeah Yeahs: I really like her a lot. I don't know, some people thinks she screams a lot live. I didn't hear that at all. Plus she smiled, in fact her whole band was smiling. Yay. They appealed to my glam side. Her make-up was great!
Silversun Pickups: This guys voice is amazing to me. It's extremely feminine...for years I had to be convinced that it wasn't the bassist (a girl) singing the songs. Now I know for sure. Also the drummer, I loved his style. His symbol was really high so he was forced to reach high and it forced some super animation from him.
Weezer: What isn't there to say about Weezer? Do you know someone who doesn't like them? I don't. They've lasted through shitty albums too. But live they are amazing live. They are the type of band that I could stand for more then 40 minutes on stage. Funny and really tuned in to what makes a good performance. And laid back, so comfortable in what they are doing.
Kings of Leon: I'm saving the best for last. They were the band I wanted to come to Weenie Roast for. I was worried they wouldn't be good, and that forever I would be disappointed. They played "crawl" my favorite song first, and I think it was a good choice. It's a build up song, and really loud. So you were instantly thought okay, who is on stage now, must listen. Plus his voice is also very unique. They also had darkness on their side, so the lighting really added to the drama. (Travis Barker had this too) I'd definitely seem them live again.

Conclusion:
I think I like Silversun Pickup and Kings of Leon for the music itself, and I guess Yeah Yeah Yeahs for the same reason, maybe. I like Weezer for the stage presence, even though the music is drilled into me. The Barker DJ Set was fun to dance too, and a good way to close the show.

Live Wish List

So now moving on to a list of music I want to see live, in no particular order:
Daft Punk! Chemical Brothers. Beck. Muse. Bloc Party. Kings of Leon (again). Radiohead. The White Stripes. The Raconteurs. Cake. There are other bands I wouldn't mind seeing live, like Rolling Stones, or Red Hot Chili Peppers...but that list is what I would absolutely do if I had the chance.

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Some Journal Sentences

The secret language I think about.
Vertigo skin eating flies.
Wrinkles too early, acne too late.
Fat. Fat. Fat.
My old self listening to the rain.
Forgetting and remembering.
Missing words, never materializing.
Vivid dreams kindle dead torrid flowers.
Unused maxillary and mandibular.
Cold sheets, drenched air, hot nights.
Ribbon time, unraveling circles.

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Star Trek

Where to start? First off, I haven't been this satisfied with a science fiction movie since Serenity. That's saying a lot, Serenity would be in my top 10 list, if I had a top 10 list of favorite movies. Star Trek, was everything I wanted it to be and more. I went in with high expectations and they were all met. The movie is proof that remaking, rehashing, retelling or stories can be done without ruin. First, the story/script itself. Whoever settled on it, if it was J.J. Abrams himself then he chose right. Creating the alternate reality for the characters to exist allowed us to excuse any issues with previous Star Trek story lines. We now know, that our beloved characters are set on a new course meaning basically, 'this is what would happen, if this happened in the beginning instead'. Gotta love space and time and all that jazz for allowing such a clever circumstance. Then second, the characters themselves maintained their integrity. No one had extras thrown in for "flare". Going along with this, casting. They could not have cast a single character better. Each actor knew that the alternate reality of their personality that may not have been as highlighted by previous performances/stories can be illuminated now, BUT also played them with the true nature of the characters. I don't really want to go into it more. If you are, or even if you aren't a Star Trek fan you should see this movie. Although its definitely more fun if you know the beeps and alarms, and one liners. All you really need is seasons 1 and 2 to get the feel.

A little more for those who have seen it... about the actors specifically... Most of the cast consist of small time, minor part actors. Karl Urban, who's been in pretty crappy movies, besides LOTR 2 & 3 as Eomer pulled McCoy perfectly. I haven't seen what Chris Pine (J.T. Kirk) was in prior, but he didn't fall into the trap of just imitating William Shatner. There were certain looks and body gestures that reminded me vaguely of Mr. Shatner (especially in the closing scene, when he enters in the yellow shirt), but mostly he brought out the younger, bad boy side of Captain Kirk that you always feel is right below the surface in the show/movies. It's only becuase of this alternate reality that these traits are stronger. The most powerful, Zachary Quinto as Spock, is primarily a TV actor! He nailed it. Absolutely. His posture and single stony facial expression were perfectly Vulcan...but his eyes. He used his eyes to give away Spock's "weakness", his half human side. All of his emotion poured out through them. Proof that yes, we should give this small timers a big time shot.

So anyways, I saw it twice in 24 hours, I haven't done that since Lord of the Rings The Fellowship of the Ring. That's how much I enjoyed this movie. Pacing, consistency, no loose ends...guh I could go on and on. Just see it!

Dollhouse

So we come to episode 12, the season finale of season one of Joss Whedon's Dollhouse. I have to say, I started watching it because it's Joss Whedon (Creator of Firefly, which the movie Serenity comes from), and I continued watching it, becuase I thought some things could get better over time, should give it a chance. The concept is kinda neato, the lose ends are not. The characters are interesting, the acting was at times atrocious. The script was clever, at times too cheesy to take seriously. The season kind of climaxed in the middle for me. Most of the interesting twists happened in the middle. The last part of the two part season finale was rushed, confusing and boring!

I love how Whedon brought in actors from his previous endeavors. The best, Alan Tudyk as the bad guy. Tudyk is rarely a bad guy, but he's good at being quirky, and filled this out perfectly. I liked the moral question in the episode where they implant someones who was murdered with their mind so they can figure out who their murderer is. I never thought that as a possibility that the 'Dollhouse' could offer. I liked the twists that I did not predict. I liked how the story line progressed, how the characters developed, but again the end was lame.

Overall it could be a lot worse. There are some good moments, not bad performances, funny jokes, interesting situations. Would I recommend watching this show? Probably not, unless you're really bored, you like Whedon, you saw some, but not all of the episodes. Since I started, I won't stop, kind of like my guilty obsession with Trueblood.

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Yoga...Again

I should really be going to yoga at the moment. I went on Monday...and pathetically fell all over myself. Always happens in between yoga breaks. The first class is great, I can do everything. Second class is almost always more then a struggle. Its not really related to soreness...I'm not sure what it is. Maybe the illusion that I'm actually back in the groove due to my first class leads to lack of real focus. Either way I couldn't quite hold asanas as long as usual without getting droopy or tipping out of balance. Plus we did a couple things I've never really spent time practicing more then one or two times.
So why am I not there tonight? Mirgraines and hot rooms really don't mix well. Also its that time of the month, specifically the first day, and generally I feel weak altogether. Instead of crankiness and soreness and migraines, I flip within moments, to weak, bloated relief. But thats just the first day. Afterwards I feel like I've been renewed. Its great. A mini rebirth.

Jobs

So my mom got me in contact with a potential job opportunity. She said, "oh I know him through so and so, he works for a non-profit working with magentic field, or something". I'm thinking, okay...so we call him, he calls me back. His name is Peter, and he works for the American Freedom Alliance. Peter is a genuinely a nice guy, I can tell this. It was also refreshing to talk to someone who knows how to have normal friendly phone conversation, unlike Phil...my current boss. Anyway Peter tells me about some of the things I would be doing, basically asisting him and the founder in general office stuff four days a week for a few hours a day. Then he goes to explain what the organization does. I instantly know... He says, I know it's different then you guys, and laughs, meaning me and my mom, but reassures me that everyone there are real peopel real nice, and would be really respectful. I know it would be. He tells me to look it up first, email him when I decided.
So of course I know what I'm going to find, as I navigate to the web page:

The American Freedom Alliance is a non-political, non partisan, movement of concerned Americans which identifies threats to western civilization. The organization promotes networking, activism and education in the following six areas: the Islamic penetration of Europe; the collapse of academic freedom; the identification and sources of media bias; the growth of radical environmentalism and the role of the judiciary in the modern democratic state. The Alliance's conference's programs, publications, websites and networking groups develop tools and strategies to counter ideologies which underly these threats, including radical Islam, moral and cultural relativism, appeasement and excessive emphasis on multiculturalism.

The part that irked me the most, "radical environmentalism", nothing ever gets done by moderate environmentalists...sorry. The other ones, guh I can just feel that there's this "conservative" undertone to the "education" of these issues. I don't know the whole thing seems to be based on fear...maybe not...maybe I'm wrong. But as far as the environmental thing...thats definitely NO.

So...do I go on supporting all my values, and at the same time work for the other view points? I can't do it. I told my mom, and she said, absolutely not, I don't want you to do that! So I'm not going to. I emailed him back, and said just that and of course thanked him so much for the opportunity. I am not starving, I get by, I can keep looking. But now I wonder if I could ever make a comprimise like that about such sweeping issues. I mean in a very desperate situation what would I do?

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Reviews Galore!

Anvil: The Story of Anvil

Jordan and I, well especially me, have been trying very hard to come up with activities in recent weeks. I'm determined for us to do interesting things. So we took a chance and went to see this little documentary. It was playing at the Laemmle theater on Santa Monica blvd, which often plays independents not found at other places. We were first greeted by the films director. An English dude, who apparently was a roadie for this metal band back when they were actually going places. Then we watched the film. It was heartwarming. I know that's cheesy as hell, but its damn true. If you've seen Spinal Tap, think Spinal Tap but in real life, mixed with the feel of another awesome documentary called The King of Kong. So basically it's hilarious and a lot of times you're thinking, wow do these people really act like this? But it's all true! That is what this bands story is. By the end you're rooting so much for these guys. I don't want to tell you too much about it except that they were influential in the 80's metal scene. But they're now in their 60's have families, crap jobs, yet still producing cds. I don't even like metal music, and I found myself enthralled instantly. At the end of the movie a special surprise we did have! The band was there, at this screening! They got up on the stage and although they admitted they were stoned out of their minds, answered questions. Dedication! Must see it!

Point Break Live!

Although I'm in the midst of dealing with "should I be angry with the only so called friends I've got", I still went to see Point Break Live with them. This is the first live stage show I've seen in ages. Apparently this started in New York, and then they brought it to Hollywood. Basically it's a live stage version of the horrendous surfer cop movie Point Break! Starring Partick Swayze and Keanu Reeves. What makes this so special is that, if you've seen the movie, you know all the amazing one liners from the terrible script. You know the action scenes, you know about Reeves and his non existing acting skills. So true to the movie, the live show plays on these faults for hilarious comedic scenes! First, casting a person from the audience to play Mr. Reeves. Basically this person reads from cue cards, which creates the perfect Mr. Reeves effect. No skills. They also shoot you with water, blood, seamen, and other such disgusting stuff, (provide you with ponchos) so that you really get into the action. They even do the parachuting scene! It was definitely creative to say the least. I laughed a lot. The actor who played Roach and the guy who played Pappas(i think) were the best. They just went for outrageous instead of trying to imitate precisely how they did in the movies like the rest of the cast. They took the little things and exaggerated them for maximum affect. If you have a chance to see this, see it!

Wolverine and the Action Movie Genre

One or two notes about the xmen movies. Okay...if I were to put in order of best to worst I'd have to go with this order:
X2(#2), X-men(#1), X-men Origins: Wolverine(#4), and then at the very bottom X-men: The Last Stand (#3)
Frankly X-men: The Last Stand was one of the worst movies I've ever seen. But more about the recent release X-men Origins: Wolverine. You know I was expecting to be a terrible movie, and granted it was pretty bad. It wasn't as bad as it could have been. I mean yeah the script sucked, the story was lame, and how stupid they make wolverine out to be is quite shocking. I mean really you didn't realize that? I kept wanting to shout at Hugh Jackman's rippling chest. But it could have been worse. I think the major problems I had with the movie, is that all the action is kind of redundant. I've seen Wolverine slicing up people before, hard to make it exciting anymore. The guy with the guns Zero, and even Wade the dude with the swords who turns out to be Deadpool at the end, each had stunts that were quite reminiscent of The Matrix, and Equilibrium. Big deal...I kept thinking. I don't know much about Gambit, but I wasn't thrilled with his shenanigans either. Why were his cards electrified, instead of flaming? I remember watching X-men and even X2 and being wowed. This was just meh...I mean no offense to the mutants powers haha, but really move on to different mutants already. Basically the move was a sad attempt at squeezing money out of a beloved storyline and name. Sort of like Watchmen.

Examples of movies that are the firsts (actionwise) and why we love them:
300...the other movie by the guy that did Watchmen: We've never seen a good action movie with a proper roman phalanx being used. Seeing how it actually works was quite exciting for an audience who's never seen it.
The Matrix: yes yes, it revolutionized action movies as we know them...blah blah
Equilibrium: the under estimated cult flick that came out the same year as the Matrix, again challenged action movies as we know them.
Harry Potter...first of all, the books duh, we're invested in the characters. But a wand battle? What other movie has a wand battle like the one between voldemort and dumbledore?

I mean maybe there are better examples, but you see what I'm getting at. And there are many more "firsts" especially from the 70s and 80s..but now and all to often, action movies aren't unique anymore. It's really hard to do it. And more and more movies are crossing into the ridiculous completely unbelievable stunts trying desperately to get that wow-factor. Most of these make absolutely no sense, and you end up feeling embarrassed for the people behind the scenes who designed it, they are so just stupid.

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