I’m getting old; rather I think I am letting myself get old before my time. I can feel it in my body, which I neglect. For me exercise has to be planned and only when I am physically active can I actually do anything that is not fun. Otherwise right now you have to trick me into exercising. What I wish I could do was ride a bike all over the damn bottoms, except I don’t have one. Or drag James to the swimming pool, but he’s too fussy. Now I have let myself go. I haven’t lost or gained weight-but I’ve traded in my old swimmer and yoga muscle for fat. My aunt nearly died of two massive heart attacks she suffered a few years back, a and still I take no heed. My father had freaking quadruple bypass surgery. I honestly have no idea how my grandmother is still alive-although I think bad hearts are from my grandfathers side since I believe he died of something related.

The other day I ran into Galen, lovely Galen eating a sandwich on the quad reading the newspaper. I have commented before on where we would be if James were not in existence. Only a passing thought. But I sat down and some how I ended up telling him all about my family. He was so eager, just as Galen would be. I was fond of that.

I’m reading the Godfather. I’ve seen the movie, a few years back. It’s so goddamn chauvinist. The violence doesn’t bother me it’s the portrayal of women. I like to think that in mafia women play tremendous rolls, equal to that of men, and this book or its characters or something doesn’t bring that to light.

Still no change in schooling. No sudden inspiration to actually do the work, to accomplish something, to be noticed by professors because I have potential. It’s not there again. I was unusually thrilled by James this week. At APD, after he got home from starting his classes he passionately said that he felt similar symptoms. He had no goals to set his mind to and so he was just living. Either way I just wish that he went to HSU, a real school so that it might smite him with some inspiration to do something other then WoW. Seems I’ll be able to quit, but he will not. I beg him to, and I know that deep down the game is destroying me-that it could easily destroy us, if I finally got some balls to let it reek the havoc that it should on a relationship. Girls are week-we choose guys and we cant let go because we think it will be too hard to start over. Well that’s how I feel. Don’t get me wrong – I love him. That’s what love is when it stops being romantic. You always look at the grass on the greener side, but the damn crossing seems too dangerous. Love is compromise, and acceptance. It’s such a damn barrier sometimes. But then I think well honest to god I would be the same way alone.

Read more...

So remember when i couldnt write the other night. well the next day this finally spewed out onto paper. It's such shite, i dont even know why i think i can sort of write. i cant.

Elevator Troubles
By Caitlin Jane Corrie

LENNY, 35 years, partner of high-end dog groomers.
JAVIER, 32 years old, other partner of high-end dog groomers.
MONICA, 29 years old.
DICK, 66 years old.
HENRY, a 4 year old dog.
(New York City, Apartment building. Characters all enter a brown elevator on the ground floor. Lenny is on his cell phone. Javier is carrying Henry.)

LENNY
Mrs. Eddleman, it’s Lenny. We have Henry nice and clean for you. We’re just going in the elevator. He smells like that nice organic rose shampoo you like so much. Uh huh…uh huh… See you in a soon.

(Hangs up cell phone)

JAVIER
You think she will try to feed us her cement-meal, I mean oatmeal cookies again?

LENNY
God I hope not. You could kill someone with those things.

(Suddenly the characters hear a creaking noise, and the elevator lurches and jolts causing Monica to fall into Lenny. The elevator stops.)

MONICA
Oh sorry!

LENNY
Looks like we’ve come to a complete stop.

DICK
Dammit, I’m going to miss the damn football game!

MONICA
Press the call button maybe that will work.

(Dick presses the call button. It falls out of its socket and onto the floor. Henry starts barking, jumps out of Javier’s arm and gobbles up the button.)

DICK
Oh Dammit!

MONICA
Oh No! Think wide-open spaces, big wide-open spaces. Nebraska, think Nebraska.

LENNY
What’s wrong?

MONICA
I have an acute claustrophobia problem!

(The other characters exchange looks)

LENNY
Well not to worry. I’m sure that someone has realized that the elevator is stuck.

(As Lenny finishes his sentence the elevator starts to move up rather quickly)

DICK
That can’t be good! Dammit!

MONICA
Oh no oh no oh no!

JAVIER
Oh gosh…

LENNY
Calm down everyone! Uh uh.uh uh.

(Lenny looks around anxiously. Javier and Dick have sandwiched Monica between them, they all stand there screaming with their eyes closed. Henry is barking and jumping up at Lenny. He starts pressing all the buttons, and suddenly the elevator comes to a stop)

MONICA
Oh thank goodness!

JAVIER
Is it over?

(Javier opens one eye)

DICK
Yes.

(Suddenly they hear a big banging on the door, and firemen’s muffled voices.)

JAVIER
I thought you said it was over! Eeeek!


DICK
It is over, those are the firemen! About damn time! We’re in here!

LENNY
We’re in here!

(The door is slowly cranked open and the characters hurry out)

JAVIER
Thank you thank you!

(Javier hugs the nearest fireman passionately. Dick exits storming off mumbling about having to the take the stairs the remainder of the way and missing the pre-show of his football game)

LENNY
Are you going to be okay?

MONICA
Yes I think so. Is he going to be okay?

(She gestures at Javier who is talking to one of the firemen about how yellow is truly his color)

LENNY
I think he’s going to make it. In the meantime I need to get Henry here back to his owner Mrs. Edelman up on 29.

MONICA
Hey she’s my neighbor-makes the most awful oatmeal cookies. I’ll walk with you.

LENNY
All right. My names Lenny.

MONICA
Nice to meet you Lenny. My names Monica.

(Monica and Lenny exit talking together)

THE END

Read more...

So I’m taking Dramatic Writing. I’m supposed to be writing scenes, one due Tuesday. It’s so damn hard! I haven’t written on purpose for a long time. I mean I have written, just not with a deadline, not with goals. Maybe that’s why my writing never actually goes anywhere. I don’t have structure or focus or goals. Either way I keep writing dialogue and its just stupid. I can’t see how my characters would say something. I don’t know how they would react because I am not them. I keep thinking I should write something closer to home but I cant freaking think of anything interesting. The assignment that’s due Tuesday is called obstacles. I create a character that has goals but meets three obstacles along the way. I can’t do it! I keep thinking about how people will react to it when it’s read in class. Everything I come up with sounds stupid. I think I might be stressing out too much. I’m going to make James help me tonight. He’s funny at least he can help me write something funny. I just hope this class teaches me how to start and not abandon ideas and write something with purpose. I haven’t actually taken a “fun writing” class in a long time and it’s throwing me through a loop. Plus I have never actually written scenes. What I really want to do most of the time is make too many stage directions, or describe what the character looks like or their clothes and history. I never really thought it would be this hard. But it is-I’ve a new found respect for play writes and screen writers. I think this is the most challenging thing I have ever had to do for writing!

Read more...

So I know how I would post about going home and all that. Well I kind of just stopped writing for the summer. But here’s a brief summary:

I sold my sole to corporate America or Target. Which is not as evil as lets say Wal-Mart. But I worked there a crap load of hours to save money. All I really have to say about that is it was a worthwhile experience for many reasons. 1) I got to see what retail is like. 2) What corporate retail is like? 3) Everyone there was really nice. 3) How small town folk are-the real small town folk. 4) The opposite of what girls want as their goals in big city. Here its get married have kids-not in that order per-say. In LA it was get an education and a good job-then think about the family thing. Anyways I don’t really want to talk anymore about it-just that I hate people who rip open packages and spill things on the floor without caring!
Amongst work- I played World of Warcraft (got my druid to level 60) and hung out with geeks. So I officially name this summer-Summer of the Geek-ing. I have even begun to dabble in Dungeons and Dragons-yipes!
So I quit right before I went home for a week on vacation with James. Highlights there are that we went to Disneyland on a not too hot or crowded day. Got to see my dearest Olga and my sister from Scotland. And the last day a drunken guy deliberately pushed me in a hot tub. Where was James-putting on his shoes…ah cant blame the boy-I was in shock and we left immediately after before any flaring between people could occur.

Now I am back at school. I eat wild black berries on my walks home and try to settle my brain into school routine again-should be interesting. Classes are Geography of the Mediterranean, Urban Legends and Folklore an anthropology class, Human biology and evolution another anthropology class, Listening to the movies, and Dramatic Writing. I hope they turn out well and all seem very very interesting.
Seen Aleisha, Colin and Colleen-all doing well-all leading far more interesting and successful lives then I. Aleisha finally climbed Mount Shasta and her art astounds me more and more. Colin had another fantastic summer at the Devils Postpile and grew a damn beard, And Colleen got a sweet internship with fish and made a crap load of money.
Another thing I am looking forward to is the prospect of James and I getting our own apartment. Moving away from miserable slobby Heather, poor kid. Either way mostly I want more space-our space to put our stuff in.
Oh and if you cant tell by now James and I are still together. And yes I still love the lazy ass!

Read more...