Memphis
Chattanooga
Opry Hotel - Christmas time
City House
Lockeland Tabel
Cheekwood Botanical Gardens
Grassmere Zoo
Franklin Farmers Market - Saturday
Southeast Woman's Herbal Conference
Nashville's Nutcracker
Austin
Monell's on a Monday
Burgess Falls
Cummins Falls
Rutledge Falls
Mammoth Cave
Arrington Vineyards

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After spending ten minutes waiting in line to park at Radnor Lake, I gave up and turned around. The trees are very pretty but not that pretty. Radnor is really a weekday activity, especially during this season. It's awesome ever since we canceled cable, things are getting done and I want to do stuff and be out doing stuff. I don't know why we didn't do it earlier. I don't even really miss it. I miss selected shows but even those I'm over missing.

Our roommate moved in and aside from the odds and ends it's been okay so far, plus he keeps taking these mini trips out of town. Hopefully he won't always leave the toilet seat up, or he won't always neglect to put the towel down on the bathroom to stand on, or he won't always park crooked in the drive way, or he won't always move his furniture in at 8:30 pm. Seriously though I think I've started to really let go of all that freedom and 'need to have my own space' and 'own time' mentality. It takes a lot to give that kind of stuff up, then you do and it's really not the end of the world, it's just different.

The last year consisted of a lot of stagnation. At first you think it's being comfortable, having fun watching whatever you want, buying whatever the hell you want, etc. Then you realize you don't have any goals or you haven't cleaned that part of the house in ages or you have to fork over a shit ton of cash you don't have because you spent it on silly things. I'm not saying I'm going to give up everything, but I am going to stop eating stuff that I don't need every week. Like no more turnip truck lunches for instance. That alone will save me like $30 a week possibly more. $30 is like two cardigans at target, a tank of gas, or part of my cellphone bill. And I'm doing well making up lunches. It's easier this season because I know how to cook all the stuff that's in season right now, or I enjoy cooking stuff again or something. Everything comes in phases.

Anyway I'm going to work on this list, I've been wanting to work on this list you see. I'll post it here when I'm done.

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I have a really hard time breaking my pattern of response to things. I can't shake stuff as easily or I guess I can't compartmentalize things that need to be separated and dealt with. I know logically it's useless to get stressed about it. But when I'm presented with an uncomfortable situation I feel like I've been pumped with oil, no something heavier, something more rigid. I can't express my stress anymore. I can't even speak or discuss. I don't know when this happened, but I can't communicate what I'm really feeling because I don't know what I'm feeling. I have no response to feelings of anxiety or stress, they're lodged inside of me, stuck. Nothing passes through anymore. It's like someone has shot me with a stun gun, things are still moving all around me, but I'm frozen.

We canceled cable this morning. Mostly it's to save money but I'll be interested to see what it may do for us. Freeing ourselves from the ease of getting home and just turning on the tube. I will FINALLY go to the library and get myself setup there. I will watch all my TV running at the Y. If the dinosaur egg goes south and we secure a roommate, I'll get a car I'll feel confident driving farther than the city limits in - too bad summer is over. It's going to be slim pickin's for a while, and like I said my response to things is messed up. I need to figure this out.

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Maui is my curse, same time and same thing last year and it wasn't even my trip! Anyway I feel like Maui is when everything started to unravel. I'm starting to seriously consider that karma started shifting in undesirable direction (against us) these past two months for having such a great year. It's like as soon as RF got on that plane, even thing started to pile up. That or the cats and cars are plotting against us, damn four letter words that start with 'c'! And RF going to Maui was their plots beginning. I am still going to take the time, for myself mostly, even if we can't go on our own beach trip just to lousy old Florida. Yes our beach vacation has been completely ruined.

However without that to look forward to, to plan for, I feel liberated. For a while I felt punctured. But now I can catch up. I have to make a big decision one of those annoying adult decisions about cars. A lot of grown up choices have come up since August.

Autumn is settling in and I'm enjoying the late crickets chirping outside the bedroom window before it gets too cold to keep it open. I often feel like it takes half the amount of time to cool down here as it does to warm up. Fall is this short sweet respite between two extremes, and it never lasts as long as Spring. This change in seasons has really thrown me off, I begin to dread the change. I can't keen an even keel or a regular routine. Maybe it's not Maui at all maybe it's just the month of September.

Another thing about weddings: I think also I'm a wedding curse...like I'm not supposed to be at them because of the years and years I spent being negative about them. Last weekend went okay, even if we did have to go pick up kegs of beer an hour in to the reception because no one else could get them. DIY is a pain in the ass. Don't ever volunteer last minute to help out with a DIY wedding. Look I'm still doing it - being negative -don't invite me to your wedding people, I think I'm still missing the whole point.

Hoping for a more prettier and exciting post next time.

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