Written June 24, 2006

David Hume says we are bundles of perceptions, structure and convention guide us. Alan Watts says we follow logos, defining, labeling trying to separate to understand things. Mythos however brings us into harmony with flow and reality. The Great Stream. The rapture as Joseph Campbell would call it. Mythos is a medium for us to touch the divine. In almost every mythology including the bible when a mortal asks to look upon the face of the divine he is told he will certainly perish, but the divine reveals itself in indirect ways and so a mortal may withstand some physical connection and not die. Rumi the Muslim poet said a story is like water in that it is heated for a bath. We only touch the water, not the fire that heats it; therefore water is a medium for interacting with the fire but not getting burned. In physics we study the particles that make up life. We see patterns, flux and no defining lines between us and the sky, us and the animals, us and the desk and chair you sit at. Everything in constant motion. We continually denote things, giving them words, symbols so that the thing and the word become interchangeable. Connotation allows us to see reality in-between the lines and all the things going along with the word we have given something. So it is impossible to encounter reality, which is everything not just, sectioned off into one thing through denotation/logos we can only reach it through mythos/connotations.

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Waffles and Burgers

This is going to be my first sports post evahh!!

Okay...so Waffleburger got this head injury right, a week ago, so he like couldn't play Sunday against the Ravens. A poor 2nd year quarterback guy who'd only tossed like one pass in an NFL game had to play. He did a good job but they lost, so the Steelers are fucked and won't move on to the potential SoupBowlness. And then fellow team mate Heinzwort was all like questioning how tough Waffleburger is. Saying shit like, 'other guys lie to their doctors, I mean this is what we do, you don't miss games'. But you see like the NFL is going crazy these days, because they always knew that football players sustained massive head trauma, and their life expectancy is like 50, but it's only recently that they've started to really talk about it. And so when Wafflesburgers got told to sit out, people started to freak out, omg waffles and burgers isn't really macho. Which is like a commentary on the whole NFL in the first place. But I mean, now everyone's like how are going to move forward? Is it okay for teammates to question the toughness of their own quarterback? Clearly football dudes only care about winning, not that they could be spoon fed by the age of fifty. HUGE disconnect.

PS. Whatever that guys name is, Concoofer...that Ravens player who missed a kick should be fired. His whole job is just to kick, like really you missed that kick? Really? I know it's 52 yards without a lot of setup, but really? Same goes for basketballers, how could you possibly miss free throws? I mean come on, it's your whole job! You get paid millions just to throw, just to kick...if you miss a chance to get a free point you should be fired.

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Itch

I've got an itch. But its deep in my gut. I can't scratch it. I can't put a soothing cream on it. Not even a glassy emerald ocean did a thing for it.

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It's done!

I imported, exported, deleted, changed URLs etc. and here we are. Hope everyone can access this still, although I don't know why not, the url is still the same, if you are reading this you are in the right place.

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Welcome

This will soon be my new blogging home! Although most people read blogs via Google Reader and other websites that just access the RSS feed or whatever you people do out there, this will be pleasing to me when I look back on my writing.

Reflection is a big part of the writing process for me, returning to old posts helps put a lot of things into perspective. Tingly brain sensations lead to my journal. Its wonderful to put pen to paper anywhere anytime, but my blog is where I feed my obsessive compulsive need to make things organized, controlled and well just plain pretty! There is something so satisfying about pressing the 'publish post' button. It's out there, it's done, and even if no one reads it, it's there for me to visit and now it's more aesthetically pleasing to read too!

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I'm in that stupidly giddy mood again, and I don't know why, is it sad that it's weird to me to be better then just 'okay' or 'good'? Am I really that emotionally mediocre? I think I've discovered in past couple months that I'm mediocre and passionless is so many ways.


Meteor Shower
Last night, we drove not 10 minutes north of Jordan's house, into the Simi hills, to watch the Leonid meteor shower at 1am. We brought blankets, but the wind in the Simi hills blows all the time, and it was freezing. I've lost all my built up tolerance to cold sadly. Anyway we decided to get on top of the Vue, and after almost rolling off the top of the SUV, we finally got ourselves comfortable on our backs. As we listened to the coyotes yips and howls that pierced the constant sound of the wind rushing through nearby creek bed vegetation, we snuggled under a sleeping bag. However the wind though it was hilarious to lift he sleeping bag like a boat sail into our faces, and I'm sure we missed some meteors laughing hysterically as we tried to baton down the hatches. Although it wasn't as spectacular as it could have been, since there was still some light pollution, we saw 4 shooting stars in 30 minutes. We would have seen more, if we thought we could stand another 30 minutes of chilly ill mannered wind.


Books
I'm reading Dog On It by Spencer Quinn. And let my tell you its boring. A mystery told from the dogs point of view, its bland, and uninteresting. Honestly I think the dogs character is too predictable. It's narration of opinions, and ideas about humans is cliche. Every speculation is something I've already heard in a dog joke throughout the years. I think this book has so much potential to be funny in a unique way, but it just misses the boat. I bought the book based on reviews I'd read about it, but frankly people who write book reviews are waaay to lenient. Either they read so many things they've become desensitized, or they are the same people who actually think the Twilight Saga is good literature.

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I'd just like to say that the 110 is freaky. It's like a go-kart track. It's terrifying. The past couple of weeks, when I've wanted to write most has been in the car on the freeway. It's strange that the cities veins, made of stress and concrete, are my temples of meditation. Sooo much happens to me while in Simi, and then it's all turned over and released in the car, and when I get home I never think to get on the computer and write anything about it.

But I am learning so much about myself. Things that maybe I never acknowledged may actually be the real me below what I'm blaming everything on. It's interesting that I'm having to relearn a lot. Redoing a relationship is crazy. It's even more crazy how much the person you know the most can be something completely the opposite.

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Remember this
This list has been floating around the draft section of my account for days now. Anyway here it is.

-Open a business with Jordan
-Take a photography class
-Buy a Eurovan
-Get all my teeth fixed
-WWOOF-ING
-Go back to school, get an applied skill...certified in something useful: GIS, Writing, Hospitality, Web Design
-Pacific Crest Trail

Now that, that is out there, I'm moving on. I'm giddy. It's so weird, for some reason it's like I never even knew that feeling existed in the first place, even though back in the day I experienced it. I guess I just never got that close to 'giddy', even if I wasn't unhappy in any sense. But now I feel silly. Could it be all this new experimentation? It brought about a lot of change. Good things. And I have learned a lot about myself, about us. That's probably what's making me feel sublimely good, but not in my mind, it's started in my tummy. And my mind is just starting to recognize that.

It's funny this is all on top of one of my common weeks of snow balling health issues. First starting with a lovely ugly fat cold sore on my chin, thank god for Abreva. Then turned in to a weird lingering and fluctuating cold, to a freaking UTI. I had a positive experience at a small urgent care clinic last night that addressed the UTI. But even while my body does this, gets one thing wrong, then ten right on top of it, I'm feeling good. Should I be proud of myself for not letting it damper things? But it's probably the reason I'm surprised to feel so happy in the first place.

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Suddenly everything is moving so quickly. November arrives sneakily, and I'm enjoying auburn, merlot and sienna, candles, chives and socks, even though after 2 weeks I'll be over it. I'll wish for spring.

So much is happening.
You know, you're busy when you forget to bite your nails.
You know you're body is under stress when you start getting cold sores again.
You know when you've stopped cooking, you're going to get fat, you're going to have terrible skin.
Never underestimate the people who know the most, the people you are closest to, for they can surprise you in wondrous ways.
Don't say NO, well at least always keep your mind open, challenge your values, morals, beliefs everyday, experience as much as you can while you can.
Patience, compromise, communication, diplomacy might be just the thing.

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