Today was the day I had my lipoma removed. Needless to say I feel better, so much better. Last night, I don't even want to talk about last night. But in this morning I felt more peaceful. As the morning wore on I got more nervous, but not about anything specific. We arrived at the surgery center, and it didn't really feel like anything other then a nice office building with a waiting room. I checked myself in, forking over my savings to pay for this little procedure, to some woman with bushier eyebrows then even me. I thought I would sit in that waiting room forever, but a nice young nurse came and told me it was time to go to pre-op within twenty minutes. On our way to the little locker room, where I'd soon get naked, we past gurneys lined up against a wall waiting for patients, and I suddenly felt like I was really going to surgery.
After tying my hospital gown up, I went to one of the pre-op rooms, that was pleasantly private and with a large window looking out of the canopy of trees that lined the street. Two nurses attended to me, they were both lovely. One asked me questions like, "have you had a stroke?", "Do you smoke?", "When did you last menstruate?". The other one took my blood pressure and handed me an ugly lunch ladies hat to hide my hair in. I thought that was a little dramatic, but I was soon to learn there would be other silly things to come. She laid a lovely warm sheet on me, which I snuggled under. My booty clad feet stuck out and hung off the gurney, I guess gurneys for tall people. Then one of the nurses instructed someone to go get the significant other. Jordan came in, sat down awkwardly in the chair next to me. I smiled at him, my eyes wide with apology. I asked the nurse if he was going to have to watch? She said no of course not, he's going to help. We both laughed over enthusiastically. I have no idea why they sent him in, it was as if I had to say goodbye in case I didn't make it out of the surgery. Again a little dramatic and silly. And through this all, I was in a cheerful mood.
After a few minutes, I waved goodbye to Jordan, who said, "have fun", and I was wheeled down an odd maze of hallways, past other patients and weird taupe colored lab equipment, past a room that had monitors displaying someones insides, past a weird thing that look like a toaster oven that was humming loudly and into my surgery room. It was large, and I could tell equipped for more important, longer, and scarier surgeries. The nurses rolled me right up to the operating table, raised up my gurney, and instructed me to roll from my back and onto the table belly down. After awkwardly accomplishing that, I relaxed and I noticed I could hear Blue Oyster Cult's 'Don't Fear the Reaper' emanating from somewhere.
From my strange horizontal view I could see the tower of monitors that an anesthesiologist uses on folks in those more important, longer and scarier surgeries. The nurses who had given me a the lovely warm blanket, clipped one of those clothes line looking things on my finger to monitor oxygen in my blood and my pulse rate. "I'll be right here at your head sweety", she said. I thought, again dramatic and silly, but I guess if I were to suddenly have a panic attack, she'd be there to calm me down, and that was probably her purpose.
Dr. Dinome arrived then, "Caitlin it's doctor Dinome" she said from some where behind me. I recognized her voice. When I had met her for the consultation, I liked her confidence and straight forwardness. She wasn't too touchy feely, she didn't baby me, she was exactly what I expected a surgeon to be like. Although her office staff seem to operate without any consistency at all, I liked her, and wanted her to be the one. Anyway back to the surgery. One of the other surgery nurses explained that she was going to place a giant plastic cold sticker on my upper thigh under my butt. I have no idea what that was for. Then she informed that she was going to wash my back, and cover it with sterile sheets. This is the part where I went from human being lying on table, to nice framed patch of flesh. But this isn't to remove the surgeon from the patient, rather to create a sterile field around the point of entry. They also constructed a giant tent above my head, which I thought was unnecessary and dramatic again, it made me think of women having cesareans. Then I thought, ew babies, never.So as you can see I was really in a normal Caitlin state of mind. I still didn't want anything to do with babies.
Dr. Dinome announced it was time for the shots that would provide me with the most pain I would feel during the whole procedure. Like 'bee stings with a few seconds of burning.' I got six. They did feel exactly like bee stings. I was prepared for these, since I remember them on my arm from my first lipoma back when I was 13ish. And they hurt like a bitch. Then I felt nothing but a strange tugging sensation and some prodding here and there from the cauterization tool. All I did was lie there listening to my steady pulse, thinking it was funny they were using my ass to put tools or gauze or something, like a table. Not more then 10 minutes later I knew the procedure was coming to a close, when I could tell she was sewing the stitches, I even almost thought I heard the thread being pulled through my skin.
And that was it, it was over. Dr. Dinome asked me I wanted to see the 'little guy'. I said sure. She held it out in her gloved hand. It was smooth and cream yellow, like a butter ball smeared with blood. I thought it looked like a plump flying saucer no bigger then a quarter. The nurses started deconstructing my tent, and one ripped off that big plastic square they placed on my upper thigh, well at least I won't have to shave tomorrow. Dr. Dinome sat on a stool next to my head, while she filled out paper work. I noticed she was heavily pregnant! I didn't notice it the month before when I went in for my consultation. But there she was, scribbling notes like diligently. Women are amazing. She told me all the things I needed to know for after that the stitches were dis-solvable, that the coverings were water proof, that I could do whatever I wanted the rest of the day.
I thanked her, and the nurse wheeled me out and back through the maze of taupe and ugly beige, to post-op. A room of gurneys with curtain separators. They took my blood pressure and handed me my bag of clothes, I got dressed behind a curtain to the sound of an elderly gentlemen snoring softly, then waking up, "Hi how are you feeling?", the nurse next door asked enthusiastically and loudly. I walked away then, and signed myself out.
Now I'm at home. It's been a good amount of time, and the numbness is definitely gone. Now it just feels like someone kicked me in the shin but on my back. Sore more then anything. But all in all, I feel relieved. Holier. Hahahahaha....k bad joke. I feel like ultimately, I freaked myself out for no reason. Or that the people at the Santa Monica surgery center, and Dr. Dinome's staff were so friendly I felt at ease, something I haven't felt in the presence of medical persons in a long time.
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