I don't really miss LA. I miss Humboldt, I always will, but I don't think I'll ever miss LA. Sure there are things about it that can't be found anywhere else...but I guess I can do without and I don't get a homesick feeling about it. Nashville has grown on me in a pleasing way, I knew I liked it and knew I could live here, and those things that you know, they really work out. That's a ridiculous thing to say but it's true. I'm slowly growing used to the lack luster geologic features...although there are hills it really is flat for the most part. Even so the trees crowd the streets making the sky (which seemed so big in the middle of the country) seem smaller. The batman building is a great point of geographical reference and I am finally getting used to the ridiculous highway system. For the most part though the south is just subtly different, duh. There are somethings though that are completely foreign to me, like continental thunderstorms.
It's not even storm season and 9 people died on Monday. Oblivious to the orange alert and literally moments before sirens and the wall of thunderstorms rolled over Nashville, I was walking around the medical campus doing the afternoon pickups and deliveries. The girls in Children's made loads of fun, 'silly Californian' and made me stay put. We were told to stay away from windows and shuffled in to the main hallways. In the event of a red alert we're supposed to go to the basements. There's a mixed feeling of concern and annoyance in the time it takes the storms to move over the land. People joke and laugh while at the same time text their kids, husbands, and wives 'okay honey stay inside'...in those moments on Monday the cell phone networks were completely overloaded and calls I tried to make didn't go out. But still folks were laughing and joking and curious if the big red crane that's leaning over Children's would fall over. I don't like it one bit. I'll take an earth quake any day. Earth quakes are sudden, tornadoes involve waiting and listening to ridiculous wind. Waiting for something that may drop down on you or someone you know is an awful feeling. I suppose that's what Pern would be like.
It's hard to be motivated at a job you're leaving. At the same time I'm excited and nervous about what's coming next. More responsibility for less pay but in an environment that's 900 times better than where I am now on dozens of levels, more than just 'I don't like it here'. I know I am definitely the person, if there is one, to get stressed working at a massage therapy studio. I've come to learn that it's my nature to care too much about professional relationships in a personal way. In some ways it's a great gift, in others it's a heavy toll I have to pay day to day. I'm interested in the inside perspective of a small business in case that's where my life leads, so it will be a good experience. I know being in that setting will be extremely healthy for me too. It's centered around healing and alternative medicine and for someone with an open mind to that they can only benefit, even if I am a stressed out ninny.
It's interesting too, that just when I was deciding to stay or go...this opportunity came up. And on a night when I was truly happy and in an out going mood I was prospected. Later I found out that should I have stayed, not only would I have been immeasurably unhappy most of the time, but that they probably would have cut the position in the fall anyway. It's interesting how sometimes when you need the universe to do something, it does, if your heart is open to it. I recently read a book which talks about magic in that way. So maybe somethings are meant and not meant to be, and you just have to be thankful for the good things that all your previous choices and being openhearted brought you to.
The end of the winter doldrums and the horrors of credentialing will be marked by a much needed trip. Although we had issues with dates and planning and places...we ended up with Asheville. And in no way do I feel like I'm settling. Yes I moved to the Southeast and I should explore different places but quite frankly Asheville is still too open ended. I have dreams about it based on only a 36 hour experience. Then again it was part of a whirlwind trip. But even in thinking about it suddenly in the middle of my day I get excited. This time we'll be there for 3 days and the hills with be green instead of orange. And honestly even if it's pouring rain it will be great, heck I might even enjoy it more.
Clearly I had a lot to get out and I am no where near satisfied. Until the next post.
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