Sunday, February 22, 2004

I feel like my chest is going to explode. I really am disgusted by things today. I kept thinking about the futures of little Allistair and Miles. What are they gonna have to grow up in? I mean we might have a 17 year difference but thats a long time. Are they going to grow up with such distress in this world? but the world is pain and distress. Everything is meant to suffer, no matter where, what who you are going to be miserable. People are going to be miserable. I am never going to get over my fears. They are my pains, and ive tried to force them out. They wont quit. So thats me.

The only goals i have now are to get a job and enough moeny to back pack to New Zealand. Even if that is the rest of my life, work get enough money to travel that is fine with me. All i need is a back pack with simple things and thats it.

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