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My blog could be considered a dangerous thing. I don't think it is. Everything I write is completely honest. Some posts are commentary, some posts are stories, some are boring, some are fun. Most often it's a window into the part of my subconscious that cannot be communicated verbally. It's meant to be the place I spill, organize and store my abstract hidden things. You can really access a lot about me through the blog, and it's partially there for that purpose. To find out the things I cannot say, and don't necessarily need to be said. But its also a tool for me, the process of writing/blogging is therapy in some sense. However, there's a lot missing. To read it, and to think that it is all of me, would be very wrong. That's why it can be misleading. A lot of people read it, and they misinterpret. No one really knows what I actually mean by a lot of the things I say, and that's not my problem. Like I said, its only there partially for the purpose of letting people into that part of me, the rest is there for me, for my subconscious to come out. To take it literally would be a dangerous thing for the reader.

Important Pieces

In that space where infinity above meets immensity below we see the first sign of a new dawn. Dark always gives way to light; for a brief moment nothing is forbidden, everything is possible. But what would we do if the light never came? Maybe we would lie down. Maybe we could go back to sleep. Maybe we could wake up. - Adbusters

The minute I heard my first love story I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was. Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere; they’re in each other all along. - Jelaluddin Rumi (1207-1273)

Adopt the pace of nature: Her secret is patience. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"The poet Rilke was afraid that if he got rid of his demons, he would lose his angels as well. Of course the danger of clinging to our demons to save our angels is that our demons may well take over." - Tim Farrington

Amnesia is not knowing who one is and wanting desperately to find out. Euphoria is not knowing who one is and not caring. Ecstasy is knowing exactly who one is-and still not caring.
- Tom Robbins

I feel like such a loser. Honestly. I just feel so behind. If i hadnt met Jenn, Heather and Colleen and known they were virgins too I think I would be a helluvalot worse. I am so happy that anna did what she wanted. Genuinely I am. And im jealous and sad cause I feel like im still stuck here left in the dust. I thought that I would be inspired once anna got her groove on. But I just feel more negative about myself and sad and hopeless. College hasnt brought any boys or anything like that towards me. The recent rocking of the world has flipped me through a crazy loop today so that i came to these conclusions pretty suddenly instead of in stages like i thougt might happen. Well you know what they say slow pain is worse. I feel so aaarrrggghhh like frustrated or something. Just upset at myself. I cant believe im still the way i am... i totally thought college was gonna change me the first day and make me totally different, like a culture shock...but im the same i still flock to the same people for comfort cause im scared of things. Im just scared is what i am...ANYWAYS on a positive note, i like music, i fixed my duvet, my printer works, girls are funny and im happy for anna. Love and Peace

1 comments:

Olga, September 4, 2004 at 6:46 PM: Cait! You will definitely meet a guy who makes you feel comfortable in your skin and you'll be dying to take your clothes off and get your groove on...lol. That's what Anna said. She was like yeah I just felt so attractive and comfortable like I've never felt with any othe rboy. You just haven't found the boy. You would't be happy just hooking up with random people and that's fine because there's not much to be gained from that. You are an amazing, creative person full of light and energy and you just need to meet someone who makes you want to reveal that. It will happen I promise. I told Anna it'd happen and it did...and it will for you. I mean we're only 18....we still have years and years and years to find the right people and you will because you're great and gorgeous. Don't despair. This should be a beacon of hope not a crushing defeat. It will all happen I swear it....there are like 2 people in the whole world who never have sex and you're not going to be one of them...I guarantee it. :) I love you sooo much!

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Important Pieces

Saturday, September 4, 2004

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