Cool Wing
Saturday, December 10, 2005
I have not written in a long time. I mean I have not written anything at all. Well nothing related to myself. Perhaps it is because I have been writing so many things for school, and to Clyde (my inmate). Or perhaps it is because I am so content that I do not need to do anything to promote a better understanding of my life.
I am considering changing my major. I cannot decide now whether I should just finish geography seeing as I am 1/3 through the requirements, or if I should move into religious studies or anthropology. I wish I had the mental capacity and studious ability to do all three, but that would be certain termination of my little success at college. But I grow increasingly interested in world religions and the whole psychology behind religion, also the ways in which the ancient world (tradition and myth) were assimilated into the present one through things such as religion. We shall see.
Finals are upon us here, as well as frosty and freezing nights. We finally got our heater fixed, but for a while seeing our breath indoors at noontime was a normal event. We caught a mouse, one of two we hopes. Unfortunately it was after he decided to eat, shit and pee all over James desk (which is kind of funny if you think about it) and on my paper wing. The silly little thing had been running all over our room and boldly marched around the apartment in broad daylight. After several attempts to catch it by bunging up holes and setting “mouse traps” which consisted of boxes and paper bags we decided it was time to trek to Ace to get a humane trap. That same night the mouse wandered into a paper bag by the trash on its own and we slyly tipped it upright. Tiny little bastard he hopped up and down trying to escape as we carried him outside. Heather and I let him go out by the creek beyond the apartment buildings.
THE PAPER WING. I drew it during the summer; it was a representation of a song that is very dear to me by Nickel Creek entitled “When You Come Back Down”. Anyways I left my wing with James in Los Angeles…that is all I will say for the rest may be a little too sappy for folk’s ears and a little to precious to disclose. Anyway when he came to live with me he brought my wing and it was safe until the mouse had his way with it. I was not as distraught about it as I thought I would be in a situation like that. It may have been because I had just taken “artsy fartsy” pictures of it a few days earlier. But perhaps it was because the mouse didn’t destroy James, just my wing. That may sound a little abstract but again I don’t really want to explain more.
I have become increasingly excited about going home in recent days. I am looking forward to seeing all my “home” friends, my parents, my dog, my old room and the warmth. I am sure it will be a great relief. However it will be strange (having lived with James for two months and five days) going home to adjust to a new routine together. Everyone will want to see us separately or alone and expect us to live separately most of the time; it just seems so bizarre to think about it. I honestly feel like living with him is the most normal thing I have ever done in my entire life. And somehow when we decided to go ahead with living together after only a couple of months, I knew it would work out. I mean I wanted it to and we made it work. Who knows about the future…but these past few months have been really easy. Nothing has gotten in the way. That is too say no complication we have had has come close or even attempted to challenge the thing we hold as a top priority or value in our relationship. And I can honestly say the things that I thought would break us apart have come and gone and still there was no threat. Every time something bothers me that he does, or something more trying and intense comes up the feelings I have for him never falter…ever. It’s always there constant in the back of my mind. It’s like looking into something murky like fog and seeing the lighthouse beam reminding me that land is still there, stable and strong and the heart of everything I love lives there on that gorgeous shore.
Sometimes when I see, hear, or read about other people’s relationships I can’t understand how they aren’t working out. I feel like I’m one of those obnoxious people in “Brigit Jones’ Diary”. The married ones who always give Brigit a hard time for not being married. Those are the people I could not stand, but now I’m turning into one of them. I feel as if I can hardly relate because it seems so long ago. That’s another thing, Humboldt slows time down-I feel like I am in fairyland while I’m here. The whole situation sometimes makes me feel really old, and as if I have been here and doing this all my life. Which is nice surprisingly.
Maybe I’ll have something more philosophical and “writing-ish” at a later date…. Peace till then…
I am considering changing my major. I cannot decide now whether I should just finish geography seeing as I am 1/3 through the requirements, or if I should move into religious studies or anthropology. I wish I had the mental capacity and studious ability to do all three, but that would be certain termination of my little success at college. But I grow increasingly interested in world religions and the whole psychology behind religion, also the ways in which the ancient world (tradition and myth) were assimilated into the present one through things such as religion. We shall see.
Finals are upon us here, as well as frosty and freezing nights. We finally got our heater fixed, but for a while seeing our breath indoors at noontime was a normal event. We caught a mouse, one of two we hopes. Unfortunately it was after he decided to eat, shit and pee all over James desk (which is kind of funny if you think about it) and on my paper wing. The silly little thing had been running all over our room and boldly marched around the apartment in broad daylight. After several attempts to catch it by bunging up holes and setting “mouse traps” which consisted of boxes and paper bags we decided it was time to trek to Ace to get a humane trap. That same night the mouse wandered into a paper bag by the trash on its own and we slyly tipped it upright. Tiny little bastard he hopped up and down trying to escape as we carried him outside. Heather and I let him go out by the creek beyond the apartment buildings.
THE PAPER WING. I drew it during the summer; it was a representation of a song that is very dear to me by Nickel Creek entitled “When You Come Back Down”. Anyways I left my wing with James in Los Angeles…that is all I will say for the rest may be a little too sappy for folk’s ears and a little to precious to disclose. Anyway when he came to live with me he brought my wing and it was safe until the mouse had his way with it. I was not as distraught about it as I thought I would be in a situation like that. It may have been because I had just taken “artsy fartsy” pictures of it a few days earlier. But perhaps it was because the mouse didn’t destroy James, just my wing. That may sound a little abstract but again I don’t really want to explain more.
I have become increasingly excited about going home in recent days. I am looking forward to seeing all my “home” friends, my parents, my dog, my old room and the warmth. I am sure it will be a great relief. However it will be strange (having lived with James for two months and five days) going home to adjust to a new routine together. Everyone will want to see us separately or alone and expect us to live separately most of the time; it just seems so bizarre to think about it. I honestly feel like living with him is the most normal thing I have ever done in my entire life. And somehow when we decided to go ahead with living together after only a couple of months, I knew it would work out. I mean I wanted it to and we made it work. Who knows about the future…but these past few months have been really easy. Nothing has gotten in the way. That is too say no complication we have had has come close or even attempted to challenge the thing we hold as a top priority or value in our relationship. And I can honestly say the things that I thought would break us apart have come and gone and still there was no threat. Every time something bothers me that he does, or something more trying and intense comes up the feelings I have for him never falter…ever. It’s always there constant in the back of my mind. It’s like looking into something murky like fog and seeing the lighthouse beam reminding me that land is still there, stable and strong and the heart of everything I love lives there on that gorgeous shore.
Sometimes when I see, hear, or read about other people’s relationships I can’t understand how they aren’t working out. I feel like I’m one of those obnoxious people in “Brigit Jones’ Diary”. The married ones who always give Brigit a hard time for not being married. Those are the people I could not stand, but now I’m turning into one of them. I feel as if I can hardly relate because it seems so long ago. That’s another thing, Humboldt slows time down-I feel like I am in fairyland while I’m here. The whole situation sometimes makes me feel really old, and as if I have been here and doing this all my life. Which is nice surprisingly.
Maybe I’ll have something more philosophical and “writing-ish” at a later date…. Peace till then…
1 comments:
"Or perhaps it is because I am so content that I do not need to do anything to promote a better understanding of my life."
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