Brains!

So remember when i couldnt write the other night. well the next day this finally spewed out onto paper. It's such shite, i dont even know why i think i can sort of write. i cant.

Elevator Troubles
By Caitlin Jane Corrie

LENNY, 35 years, partner of high-end dog groomers.
JAVIER, 32 years old, other partner of high-end dog groomers.
MONICA, 29 years old.
DICK, 66 years old.
HENRY, a 4 year old dog.
(New York City, Apartment building. Characters all enter a brown elevator on the ground floor. Lenny is on his cell phone. Javier is carrying Henry.)

LENNY
Mrs. Eddleman, it’s Lenny. We have Henry nice and clean for you. We’re just going in the elevator. He smells like that nice organic rose shampoo you like so much. Uh huh…uh huh… See you in a soon.

(Hangs up cell phone)

JAVIER
You think she will try to feed us her cement-meal, I mean oatmeal cookies again?

LENNY
God I hope not. You could kill someone with those things.

(Suddenly the characters hear a creaking noise, and the elevator lurches and jolts causing Monica to fall into Lenny. The elevator stops.)

MONICA
Oh sorry!

LENNY
Looks like we’ve come to a complete stop.

DICK
Dammit, I’m going to miss the damn football game!

MONICA
Press the call button maybe that will work.

(Dick presses the call button. It falls out of its socket and onto the floor. Henry starts barking, jumps out of Javier’s arm and gobbles up the button.)

DICK
Oh Dammit!

MONICA
Oh No! Think wide-open spaces, big wide-open spaces. Nebraska, think Nebraska.

LENNY
What’s wrong?

MONICA
I have an acute claustrophobia problem!

(The other characters exchange looks)

LENNY
Well not to worry. I’m sure that someone has realized that the elevator is stuck.

(As Lenny finishes his sentence the elevator starts to move up rather quickly)

DICK
That can’t be good! Dammit!

MONICA
Oh no oh no oh no!

JAVIER
Oh gosh…

LENNY
Calm down everyone! Uh uh.uh uh.

(Lenny looks around anxiously. Javier and Dick have sandwiched Monica between them, they all stand there screaming with their eyes closed. Henry is barking and jumping up at Lenny. He starts pressing all the buttons, and suddenly the elevator comes to a stop)

MONICA
Oh thank goodness!

JAVIER
Is it over?

(Javier opens one eye)

DICK
Yes.

(Suddenly they hear a big banging on the door, and firemen’s muffled voices.)

JAVIER
I thought you said it was over! Eeeek!


DICK
It is over, those are the firemen! About damn time! We’re in here!

LENNY
We’re in here!

(The door is slowly cranked open and the characters hurry out)

JAVIER
Thank you thank you!

(Javier hugs the nearest fireman passionately. Dick exits storming off mumbling about having to the take the stairs the remainder of the way and missing the pre-show of his football game)

LENNY
Are you going to be okay?

MONICA
Yes I think so. Is he going to be okay?

(She gestures at Javier who is talking to one of the firemen about how yellow is truly his color)

LENNY
I think he’s going to make it. In the meantime I need to get Henry here back to his owner Mrs. Edelman up on 29.

MONICA
Hey she’s my neighbor-makes the most awful oatmeal cookies. I’ll walk with you.

LENNY
All right. My names Lenny.

MONICA
Nice to meet you Lenny. My names Monica.

(Monica and Lenny exit talking together)

THE END