Snippets from the journal

To understand what I'm trying to say, I suppose you may have had to read one of Marion Zimmer Bradley's Avalon books. There's a certain familiarity that causes me to think in terms of reincarnation, but not necessarily so complete, it's like deja vu, but less haunting, more like soaking in a warm tub. It just feels extremely familiar, as if it's always been in me, or he has always been in me, a present hidden in the closet saved till the right Christmas morning. Maybe I've only been fine tuned to recognize cosmic feelings like this, because Bradley's books helped to define what I find I'm looking for in relationships at a critical time in my life.

I kept complaining about rain last week, when we baked in a late summer heat wave. Never have my prayers been answered when I asked...it's a rather wimpy storm though...

What I cannot have right this second, please push the play button.

Autumn leaves, bottle cap furniture, waffles and pecan pie, scooters and camper vans, fire, skin, lips and eyes, cats and mornings, patience.

All things happen as they are supposed to, but what is around the bend I want so damn badly.

To know what it's like again, to make things real again. To be able to give it that opportunity to grow.

I've opened a door, but I cannot go in, I am forced to look through the window.