Brains!

I've lost my appetite for writing recently, mostly because I haven't been doing enough of it, sort of lost my rhythm. That's probably why my writing has fallen to the bottom of my list of things I do. It's quite disappointing, which is why I'm going to make it a point to do something about it when I finally start my life.

I had this discussion last night about 'starting my life' as a concept. In two weeks from today I'll be waving goodbye to my mothers house. It won't be the home I live at anymore, it will be a place in my heart just like Humboldt is. Sometimes I wonder if Nashville will become that to me, or if it will just be a place I spend sometime before I move on to the next thing. I think the concept isn't so much about geographical location, as much as it's getting out of the same path I've been on for the past 2 years. Not to say that my life in LA is horrible, it's just never been what I've wanted. I've never wanted to be here, it was always supposed to be a stop over, and I guess that may have been why I never had any motivation, amongst other things.

Even though I've been ranting and raving about how brilliant the things I've recently gained in my life are, I don't think it's settled as to just how brilliant they really are. Testing them by pursuing what I want, and no one else, over time will really give me an experience. And of course there is a perk to all this, something I'll be able to hold on to, feel around me, lean against, in a physical form. I really don't think I know how shaping that will be, all I know is I'm excited about it. I don't want to say it feels like the right way, the way it's supposed to feel, but it's definitely exactly what I want, what I'm looking for. So many things to look forward to.