Brains!

So the last assignment we did was Rewrite. Kelso wanted us to make a major change to one of our previous scenes. Either cut it down, make it longer, change characters, change settings, tweak story line etc. Either way I chose my last scene: the assignment was Burning Bridge, write a scene in which something happens where the characters can never be the same again. So the scene that follows is Burning Bridge, the scene after that is the Rewrite of that scene. Mine's dramatically different, but still has some of the same qualities and themes.

(Burning Bridge Scene)
by Caitlin Corrie

HARRY, 15-year-old son, distant, coming of age.
MARCUS, father, typically threatened by his sons distance.
MARY, mother, much more patient then MARCUS
KAYCEE, 5-year-old sister to HARRY.

(MARCUS and MARY are sitting nervously on their sofa set in their living room. Both characters are nervous)

MARY
We decided Marcus, tonight. It has to be tonight, we can’t wait any longer.

MARCUS
I know. It’s just Harold’s been so distant, and Kaycee… I just don’t know.

MARY
It doesn’t matter how they handle it, they need to know. We’ll tell Harold first, I just don’t know what to say to Kaycee yet.

MARCUS
I know. All right. Harold?

(HARRY enters nonchalantly pressing the pause button on his video game.)

HARRY
Do you have to call me Harold?

MARCUS
Harry, would you sit down please young man.

(HARRY sits down on the couch next to his mother)

HARRY
Yea…all right.

MARCUS
How’s school?

HARRY
Fine.

MARY
Marcus…

MARCUS
I know, I know…Harold your mom and I, well we have something to tell you.

MARY
Honey we love you and your sister very much you know that right? Well that will never change; we want you to know that.

(HARRY looks disinterested)

MARCUS
Harold, are you listening?

HARRY
Yes I’m listening, you love me blah blah blah… I told you my I have a few stupid teachers this semester, it’s not my fault. Just get off my back!

(HARRY gets up and heads for his bedroom)

MARCUS
Harold we’re getting a divorce.

HARRY
What?

MARY
A divorce honey.

(A pause falls between the characters)

MARCUS
You’re mom and I have been doing a lot of talking…

MARY
It’s just the right thing to do. We just don’t get along the way we used too; anyways it’s for the best. We wanted to tell you before your sister came home.

(HARRY doesn’t answer right away)

HARRY
Fine.

MARCUS
Harold?

HARRY
What! You’re getting a divorce so is half the country, so what!

MARY
Harold we’re still going to talk, we’re going to get the custody sorted out so you and your sister can switch off weekdays and weekends.

HARRY
Fine, I don’t care.

MARCUS
Son…

HARRY
I understand Dad I’m not a little kid anymore! I’m going to Jim’s house.

(HARRY swings the front door open and slams it shut. He runs down the street. He stands still for a moment, and then sits down on the edge of the curb. Tears stream down his face. Just then a school bus arrives. KAYCEE hops off, and hops over to HARRY.)

KAYCEE
Harry Harry look what I drew, bunnies!
(HARRY wipes his face clean, and reaches out to pick up his sister.)

HARRY
Is that why you were hopping Kay?

KAYCEE
Yep. I’m a bunny, what’s up doc?

END SCENE

Now for the Rewrite

(Untitled Re-write Scene)
By Caitlin Jane Corrie

MARVAIN, Queen of Caprian, age 35, wise and cunning.
LORD MARCUS, King Of Caprain, age 60, tyrannical and war driven.
HEROD, Prince of Caprian, age 17, naive, spoiled, but not stupid.
TORUS, Wise Man of Caprian, age unknown, NON SPEAKING
KAYLEEN, Princess of Caprian, age 10, NON SPEAKING

(Lord MARCUS of the kingdom of Caprian, and his wife MARVAIN sit upon the throne in the main hall of an elaborate palace. Their son HEROD has been called to meet with MARCUS. He enters through the main door, leaving a flock of mostly female subjects behind him.)

MARVAIN
Do not dally; your father is in much haste boy!

(HEROD kneels before the throne.)

HEROD
Hail Lord Marcus!

MARCUS
You are to be sent to the borders, at Gerfan. To the front!

HEROD
But father-

MARCUS
Halt!

HEROD
Forgive me, Hail Lord Marcus!

MARCUS
You are nothing but a wench in a man’s skin. Do not think I am stupid in old age. This is year 17 in your life, and you have made your bed with twice as many women. You have not shown me much worth, yes you win contests in the way of the sword, but that is not enough!

HEROD
Yes Lord.

MARCUS
You are to depart on the morrow. I expect I will not see you for many years, serve me.

HEROD
Yes Lord. Hail Lord Marcus.

(HEROD exits. MARVAIN excuses herself appropriately from the main hall and follows her son out. They walk in silence, as is tradition, to a private chamber)


HEROD
What brain ailment shall claim my father?

MARVAIN
He has no ailment.

HEROD
Then why is he sending me away! Surely I have been tutored enough. I am weary of lessons!

MARVAIN
You’re fathers words were like arrows to a bull’s eye. You have had many years of tutoring in the strength of arms, but you are naive to the battlefield Harod. You’re father wants to ensure his name in history, and he cannot do that with a son who is naive. You have never left the city walls.

(HEROD flops onto a bench)

MARVAIN
Your father wants you to go for his own means. He wants you to understand the military, to further force the boundaries of this kingdom upon what he deems to be lesser individuals. You will learn how to conquer, and ultimately become his clone.

HEROD
I do not need to go beyond the walls of the city to understand this country, there’s nothing but flea-ridden peasants and their hovels.

MARVAIN
That is the exact reason you must go to Gerfan! To see death! To see poverty! Too see the earth, beneath the marble. Too reverse the affects of palace life! You have no concept of reality. You must see what it is like to be in the majority. Have you not listened to Torus?


HEROD
That old man tires me more then all of fathers war men.

MARVAIN
Torus is the wisest men in this kingdom. Your father only keeps him here for traditions sake. But I have made it possible for you to meet with him these past years for a purpose Herod.
(MARVAIN sits next to HEROD, and looks directly at him.)

MARVAIN
I want you to go to Gerfan! And I want you to see the terror that your fathers will has inflicted! You must be greater then him Herod, greater then the war Lord. You are finally the ripe age to understand what the people of Gerfan are experiencing!

(HEROD looks confused, but his face becomes resolute. They do not speak for a moment)

HEROD
I do not understand. But it seems I have no choice for myself.

MARVAIN
You will if you become King. Do not be frightened. That is still a number of years away, and you will grow wiser by then. Take with you the teachings of Torus, to illuminate the things you see in Gerfan. Learn both war, and life!

HEROD
Again I do not understand your reasoning. But I will do as you say, though I do not promise to come back any different. And do not think me ignorant, I have listened to Torus, but his stories and proverbs confuse me.

MARVAIN
In time you will understand many things. All I ask is that you go with your mind’s eye open. Come Herod, we must away to prepare for your departure.

HEROD
What shall I tell Kayleen. She will not understand my leaving?

MARVAIN
Tell her what you will Herod. That will be your first lesson. You must learn the meaning of loss.


(END SCENE)