Brains!

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My blog could be considered a dangerous thing. I don't think it is. Everything I write is completely honest. Some posts are commentary, some posts are stories, some are boring, some are fun. Most often it's a window into the part of my subconscious that cannot be communicated verbally. It's meant to be the place I spill, organize and store my abstract hidden things. You can really access a lot about me through the blog, and it's partially there for that purpose. To find out the things I cannot say, and don't necessarily need to be said. But its also a tool for me, the process of writing/blogging is therapy in some sense. However, there's a lot missing. To read it, and to think that it is all of me, would be very wrong. That's why it can be misleading. A lot of people read it, and they misinterpret. No one really knows what I actually mean by a lot of the things I say, and that's not my problem. Like I said, its only there partially for the purpose of letting people into that part of me, the rest is there for me, for my subconscious to come out. To take it literally would be a dangerous thing for the reader.

Important Pieces

In that space where infinity above meets immensity below we see the first sign of a new dawn. Dark always gives way to light; for a brief moment nothing is forbidden, everything is possible. But what would we do if the light never came? Maybe we would lie down. Maybe we could go back to sleep. Maybe we could wake up. - Adbusters

The minute I heard my first love story I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was. Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere; they’re in each other all along. - Jelaluddin Rumi (1207-1273)

Adopt the pace of nature: Her secret is patience. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"The poet Rilke was afraid that if he got rid of his demons, he would lose his angels as well. Of course the danger of clinging to our demons to save our angels is that our demons may well take over." - Tim Farrington

Amnesia is not knowing who one is and wanting desperately to find out. Euphoria is not knowing who one is and not caring. Ecstasy is knowing exactly who one is-and still not caring.
- Tom Robbins

Another amazing weekend, thanks to Comic Con San Diego 2008.

It seems as soon as I get past the beginnings of things, stuff is no longer as scary. I adjust, calm down, realize that my life isn't going anywhere without me. Its right here in front of me, today.

Since I've come to terms with my permanence I've been putting heavy effort into adjusting my positive vs negative moods. Mostly it's because I know I'm so unpleasant to be around when I am in the negative shadows. Sometimes my it escapes my grip, literally with one spoken word, or lack thereof, I am flipped upside down. I fall so quickly into a trench I can hardly pull myself out of, its like I'm stuck in there for sometimes an hour.

I had so much more to write. I find myself thinking a lot these days, about my future. The difference here is that I am thinking and not worrying. And the things are more often about Jordan then anything else. Curious really, I guess.

Some days I can't stand things, many things. Sometimes I wish so hard, for stuff to be completely different. For people to be who they aren't. I have to stop myself there too. Slap myself, into realizing I need to make things the way I want, instead of waiting for other people to do that.

I'm getting better, trying really hard to be a better person, to be happier, to just let go...

This Blog

Important Pieces

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

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