Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Another amazing weekend, thanks to Comic Con San Diego 2008.
It seems as soon as I get past the beginnings of things, stuff is no longer as scary. I adjust, calm down, realize that my life isn't going anywhere without me. Its right here in front of me, today.
Since I've come to terms with my permanence I've been putting heavy effort into adjusting my positive vs negative moods. Mostly it's because I know I'm so unpleasant to be around when I am in the negative shadows. Sometimes my it escapes my grip, literally with one spoken word, or lack thereof, I am flipped upside down. I fall so quickly into a trench I can hardly pull myself out of, its like I'm stuck in there for sometimes an hour.
I had so much more to write. I find myself thinking a lot these days, about my future. The difference here is that I am thinking and not worrying. And the things are more often about Jordan then anything else. Curious really, I guess.
Some days I can't stand things, many things. Sometimes I wish so hard, for stuff to be completely different. For people to be who they aren't. I have to stop myself there too. Slap myself, into realizing I need to make things the way I want, instead of waiting for other people to do that.
I'm getting better, trying really hard to be a better person, to be happier, to just let go...

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