Monday, August 4, 2008

Emylou reminds me of Humboldt. Strangely enough I miss it. Emylou reminds me of old times. People I'll never see again. Bad timing, years even at the wrong angles.

If I could change my local every weekend, I would be such a happy person. I seem to do better on the move.

Lists I need to work on: things I would do with a million bucks, reasons I love people, reasons I don't, things I should change about myself, things I should look into in the future.

Maybe it's not so bad, this going back thing. I just have to fill up all my time. If my going out, creates problems, then honestly I don't care.

I'm constantly trying to get inside and understand. I would lay down everything to please, and not be lame and annoying and boring and sad and stupid and dumb and... I guess I just think my being considerate and concerned for others well being, would in turn make them feel that they can care about me that way. Treat me equally. I'll bend over backwards if you give too. Even the smallest thing. Let me in.

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