Brains!

So this silly old thing, which I had deemed "no one knows, nor reads about", actually is read by more people then I thought. A lot more. It has been an interesting find in the past three weeks, that actually more then 3 people I would not expect do read it, and have been for a while. At first when I'm told, I think, "oh god, why did I have it on my facebook, people must think I'm some emo fool". (I had had it linked on facebook for a long time, and totally forgot of the links existence since I hardly edit my profile, then when I did notice, I took it off. Happened a while ago). After that initial reaction I say, "oh yeah, my blog", then I don't really know what to say. Anyways it's been requested that I post more often, we'll see how that goes haha.

I could really keep talking about this whole, readers of my blog thing, but frankly I've already got that "disclaimer" section which really explains why after my initial "oh my god people read this thing", that I could care less who does or doesn't. But will the knowledge of a greater audience of folks closer to me in real life affect my posts? Probably. It's easy to say, "Oh yeah I'll be totally honest and write what I want blah blah", but deep down I might be doing some double checking. Is that bad? I don't know.

I think I've still got so many things that I haven't addressed. All my hand written journal entries lately have really been just random words, fragments if you will of things I'm not processing. I think I've lost my capacity to express myself in any abstract way, and end up posting posts in the literal format of this is this, and that is that. Which is boring as hell. Anyway the point is, I haven't really been able to get in to a groove again with my posting, and now to learn of all these new readers it seems to be adding to the processing delay. Life was good before I knew, should it really change, and should my posts really change just because of this new knowledge?

I think I just repeated myself. I need to go to bed.