Brains!

Nothing really woke up inside me. In fact, I felt like I was 12 again. Terrified into a stone. Spin the bottle all over again. I'm not really worried, in fact I don't really feel anything at all when it's before or after. I have a two ultimate guarantees about one thing, and the other stuff just doesn't seem to be real, probably because it's all so surreal. When it's something more then awkward firsts, I might have a more formulated opinion. What's interesting is how determined Jordan is. He's always been like that though, get's something in his head and goes for it till either something better comes up, he gets bored, or it just doesn't work out and he gets frustrated. In this case, a lot of options have popped up, so he hasn't really experienced any of those criteria. The one option we've been going with timing & distance & newness hasn't been on our side. But there are other things popping up too, that have caused Jordan to turn hunter.

Anyway...I'm collapsing as I type this. I just can't seem to catch up on sleep till like Weds night, and then I go back to Simi and do it all over again. I'm a drone in the beginning of the week, I just want to hide. But today I had to go out, too many damn errands to run. And I've either developed allergies, or I've got a cold. I hope it's not allergies, and I hope its not a cold. But it was great being outside. This wind is exactly what I need. Although it knocked out the power and I got stuck in the dark shopping for bras at Nordstrom Rack. It was freaky. Then came home to another classic fight with my mother, an I'm reminded all over again why my life is a failure.

That felt good. I miss writing. I'm even backed up in yelp reviews, so unlike me.