Brains!

It takes a lot to really get your mind in a 'I can do anything' place. The small successes, the small lessons I have to make a big deal out of...again, brick by brick. Nothing is ever as scary as it seems. It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not. I often wondered for a long time, how other people went about their lives seemingly able to fit here and there easily, often thinking I could never do that. But I think I just put myself down so much that I never really noticed the things I can do. The mid 20s are a strange time. There are some things you can only learn after by aging, and being mindful. The more I'm kept on my toes, challenging myself, facing my fears, the more likely I am to grow. I'm very happy about this.

I'm so happy actually. I know that's something people aren't supposed to run around saying, 'oh she's only saying that to convince other people, but she should just be worried about what she thinks' but fuck that. I'm going to say what I want, and I really am. When I get out of work it's usually right around sunset, and more often than not it's cloudy, or snowing, or something dismal. But today was quite gorgeous. The clouds were rolling across the sky in neatly parted rows, of pink and gold. I prefer to drive straight through downtown, and I quite love the tiny urban center, even the nashvegas part. I'm so looking forward to spring, when all the sleeping gray and brown plants come back to life. I haven't been here during the lush months. And of course with those months will come the heat, the bugs, and I'll be dying for winter again...maybe.