Brains!

So...Brene Brown...The Gifts of Imperfection

There's soo much. Too much. Here is what I can say. Her research and theories and conclusions accurately define me. So ACCURATELY that I want to run and hide and stop facing them. 
It's hard to just pick one quote, this whole book needs to be read.

Shame and love are grounded in vulnerability and tenderness. pg 25

What does this mean for my future? How much pain will I have to go through to get to the other side? What will the other side look like? What or who will I lose along the way?

These are all questions of fear. The fear is rooted in shame.
I'm not asking myself what I will gain. I'm not accepting myself now and that will be the journey to 'wholeheartedness', living with my whole heart.
I've lost my ability to be vulnerable (or maybe I never fully had the ability) and because of that I have become disconnected from those around me and my authentic self.

Just thoughts, many many many many thoughts. The first of many many many thoughts that will be thought about a lot for my whole life but especially as this process continues.