Friday, November 2, 2007

Leave me alone life.

I’m too weak.

I’ve turned into a babbling fool.

I’m lost.

I’ve lost sight of what had grown in me. Rhiannon, Cerridwen, Deirdre, Brihgid, Eriu and all those other versions of her. I need someone else. I can’t skip through the woods alone anymore. I need help with my wings. Where is my hearts secret Alder, I cannot find it’s roots.

My lack of anchoring frightens me. It gets worse everyday, like I have floated out farther and farther to sea. Away from what I used to know as security. Why did I ever give it up, will I ever get it again? This will be my last ditch effort. Afterwards, I know I should just let life go on it’s own, without forcing it. Without wanting to force it. Without being inadvertently controlled or controlling in. I just want to be held forever, kissed all over. My hand in someone’s. Everyday over and over… who the fuck am I?

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