Brains!

I’ve had so much to write about. Really since I got back from Scotland. Now I’m sure I’ve forgotten some important things. But that’s the way these things go.

First about Humboldt.
It’s amazing how much I miss it. I mean I miss college, just as much as the next graduate, but Humboldt as a place is like a mystical homeland. It seems to work its way back into my life at the most unlikely times. Like when I found out that Food Network Chef Guy Fieri is from Ferndale, or even better how strange and wonderful it was to see Humboldt County featured in Stephen Fry’s travel show, Stephen Fry in America, while I was in Scotland. It’s never going to leave me, and I long to visit so much. I know this all sounds like boloney, but I really do believe there’s something very special about Humboldt. It really is like no-where else on Earth. Its so beyond unique, remote and its probably going to stay that way, isolated and protected by its big Redwood curtain. But it doesn’t suffocate the little world up there at all. The people who really care, the ones who really want to be there, make that effort to be there or to visit. They create what it is.

Speaking of Scotland, I had some reflections about it.
One is that even though when I go nothing seems familiar, I am not startled by its differences. I could imagine Jordan being there, and going through culture shock, especially because he has never been to Europe before. Maybe I mean I’m taking it for granted. But I really don’t feel that way either. It’s just another place I’ve visited in my past so many times, that distant memories prepare me for anything. Not that its truly different I suppose. People are people wherever you go. But it’s always the little details, the little things in the vernacular that are most interesting to me. Nothing about the Queen, or the sheep, or the similar fall colors were really that interesting. It was the cobble stone streets that I had forgotten and never sees in California. It was the way the food tasted different, the accents and sayings, the road signs, the names of towns, the things you wouldn’t normally consider something a tourist would visit or think about when they go to a foreign country, but all the stuff the foreigners themselves see, eat, smell, drink everyday that was most interesting. (Wait did I already write this in my trip posting?)
Two. I wasn’t panicky stricken at the separation from Jordan. In fact, although I had peculiar dreams, I didn’t feel anxious or particularly helpless as I had in the past. Maybe I’ve gotten over it. Maybe, I’m normal now! This past week we spent entirely apart, and it was wonderful in its own way, just because I wasn’t anxious or panicked. Of course I missed him, was freezing at night in bed without him, thought about all the good things, and bad things that would normally go on if we were together. But I was not feeling needy or clingy at all. I’m so happy about it, you can’t even imagine.

Something I should really remind myself everyday:
People can surprise you, and it’s always when you stop expecting anything of them. How many times have I said this before! Let go, and let things take their own course. Last night for example…giggle.