Brains!

I've thought of a lot of things to explore here, but I guess this one is the one I'm thinking about this evening. I'll have to play catch up with the rest over time.

I ponder the idea of a what a significant other is, or supposed to be. A single person thinking you're special in a different light, than what a super close friend can think. I'm not even sure if that really exists. It seems like such a foreign relation to me. Did I ever have that? I guess I did, but it feel like it happened to someone else, and my memories are stories of that persons experiences. Will I ever have that? I'm not ready for it clearly, I've made some promises to myself that must be kept before I can consider it. But I sometimes peer into my future, and I just don't see it happening. That maybe where I'm at now, is everlasting. I'm sharing so many things these days, I wonder what will be special between me and another person. I think about those moments, and I'm indifferent because I cannot relate. I think it's probably because my heart isn't open to that connection.

But my god my heart is open to almost everything else. It's capacity for warmth and forgiveness is astounding. I hope it's appreciated by all, and I know it is by some.