Brains!

I attended Calypso last night. Remember when I went like three years ago, as a freshman? I had a blast, dancing with hippies etc. This time I went with Aleisha and this time I knew Galen in the band, and this time I had fun too. This time I knew I was going to have fun, so it wasn’t the amazing experience like the first time but, of course, I had so much fun. I love dancing. And Calypso is perfect.

From the HSU music web page…
The Steel Drum, or “Steelpan" as it is called in Trinidad, is a highly developed instrument formed from a 55-gallon oil barrel. The barrel is hammered, measured, scribed, grooved, fired, and then fine-tuned by an expert craftsman. Through the use of single, double, and multiple combinations of barrels of different depths, the full symphonic range is reproduced. The music performed on these instruments has been called both festive and inspirational, and the steelpan drum was, in fact, the only acoustic instrument invented in the 20th century.

The Humboldt State Calypso Band prides itself in maintaining an accurate and authentic connection to the Caribbean roots of the steel band movement and the innovative musicians of Trinidad, the island on which this unique percussion phenomenon was born. Present and former members of the Calypso Band have traveled to the West Indies, where they performed with some of the best steelbands in the world in Trinidad’s National Panorama Competition during Carnival. In turn, Panorama music from Trinidad has greatly influence the band's repertoire and instrumentation.

In other news…
I may be going cross-country. I haven’t left California in three years. I’ve never been to the east coast. And in light of recent events in my life, I need to explore. Being on the other side will be an experience. I’ve discovered that what I really need to do with my situation, is figure out what I want, what I can do, and not have to take care of someone anymore. My friend Amy commented on a post of mine a wee time ago, “I have been an “us” and a “we” for so long”. I feel the same way. I’m worried I have forgotten who I am. I haven’t really gotten to the point of knowing something about me, and what I want, and where I want to go. I need to do stuff on my own, while I am in college, cause here I am still growing. Here I am safe to explore still, to learn still. I cannot let myself fall in to a funk later on in life. What I mean is, if I stayed with James who I do dearly love, I would later on in life most likely regret that I did not try things I may have wanted to. That’s not to say I know what I want to try right now, but as I have said, being in this relationship I am tied to him. My decisions all revolve around “we” and “us”. I have shut myself off from many things because of that. I am only 21. I cannot do that yet. This choice is hard, will be harder later, when the actual separation from James happens. He is with his friends right now, and I miss him. But it’s better then the last time he left, when I wept, and grew weary of my choice to end this. Right now I have gone through weeks of convincing myself I need to do this to grow. Now I know that’s what I want to do. When my stomach turns abruptly I feel the worst, but I breathe in. When I think about the heart that I have broken, I feel the worst, but I exhale and try to move forward.