Brains!

Sometimes I cannot tell if things are getting easier or harder. It seems old memories and habits pop up, reminding me of the good old times, but it's easier to say no to the present ones. I cant really ask if this is the right or wrong thing to do. It's not a matter of right or wrong this time. My will to resist and actions to maintain my descisions, show me that there is something going on in me. This thing in me must be important, I grow to find that this must be done, and for both our sakes too.
I still cry, I fight a lot with my eyes, my voice, my arms...