Brains!

This Blog

My blog could be considered a dangerous thing. I don't think it is. Everything I write is completely honest. Some posts are commentary, some posts are stories, some are boring, some are fun. Most often it's a window into the part of my subconscious that cannot be communicated verbally. It's meant to be the place I spill, organize and store my abstract hidden things. You can really access a lot about me through the blog, and it's partially there for that purpose. To find out the things I cannot say, and don't necessarily need to be said. But its also a tool for me, the process of writing/blogging is therapy in some sense. However, there's a lot missing. To read it, and to think that it is all of me, would be very wrong. That's why it can be misleading. A lot of people read it, and they misinterpret. No one really knows what I actually mean by a lot of the things I say, and that's not my problem. Like I said, its only there partially for the purpose of letting people into that part of me, the rest is there for me, for my subconscious to come out. To take it literally would be a dangerous thing for the reader.

Important Pieces

In that space where infinity above meets immensity below we see the first sign of a new dawn. Dark always gives way to light; for a brief moment nothing is forbidden, everything is possible. But what would we do if the light never came? Maybe we would lie down. Maybe we could go back to sleep. Maybe we could wake up. - Adbusters

The minute I heard my first love story I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was. Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere; they’re in each other all along. - Jelaluddin Rumi (1207-1273)

Adopt the pace of nature: Her secret is patience. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"The poet Rilke was afraid that if he got rid of his demons, he would lose his angels as well. Of course the danger of clinging to our demons to save our angels is that our demons may well take over." - Tim Farrington

Amnesia is not knowing who one is and wanting desperately to find out. Euphoria is not knowing who one is and not caring. Ecstasy is knowing exactly who one is-and still not caring.
- Tom Robbins

All I want to do is start up weights again. Not only do I have to save a couple bucks to get a membership, but I've still got a fair amount of pain when I move around too much. I've fine if I find a comfy position, but if I bend awkwardly or even lightly brush my back it's like OUCH. Mum and I walked to Cafe Buna for breakfast today, it was fine getting there, on the way back I was kinda like guh. I think mostly from overcompensating so that I don't get a twang of pain from bending the wrong way. So I've kinda made my muscles kinda sore. I think also it's just bruised now, and maybe the since I haven't been active all the blood rushing around my body kinda created a throbbing sensation. Oh well..everyday it's like 50% better then the day before, I'll be fine soon. We actually took the outer dressing off today (per doctors orders) and so now I have a piece of tape that will fall off in two weeks that is covering the incision. It's actually tiny! Gotta love doctors who think about these things, and I'm glad I got it removed while it was small. The one on my arm was much larger.

Anyway as you might have thought by now, I've got extreme cabin fever. My brain is complete mush from TV, newspaper, radio, and more TV. I'm so ready to go back to work it's not even funny. Too much time to think kinda puts me on self-deconstruction mode. What's happened to me? What I'm doing, where I'm going, who I'm going with. I can't figure out if somethings have always been this way. Is that because, you really are the same person no matter where you go? Even if where you go, is through linear timer, rather then space? I'm beginning to wonder if I've forgotten who I am. But that the inherent me is what's operating instinctively. I feel like my gas tank is empty. I don't even feel emotional about anything, because there's nothing going bad or good, everything is...like running on fumes, there's not enough juice-inspiration, passion, about any of it to really get illicit an emotional response. I mean I guess it's there, deep down, I just can't reach it.

This Blog

Important Pieces

Saturday, September 19, 2009

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