Tuesday, March 29, 2005
today was off. i think ive been off for a long time and i just have spurts of good things and good days but really in the end im not in a place that is making me happy or satisfying me. and i wonder is there supposed to be? i just know i get sad about things and its getting to the point where i feel like i should stop getting sad and just stop all together. i let myself get this way and i shouldnt. right now more then anything im seeing that lonely empty glass sitting in front of me, waiting to be filled again. I would give anyhting to sit for three days on a beach, eat apples, read and sleep in a hamock right there on the beach. I know vacations arent solutions to problems but i want to do that. i wont so i guess i have to settle for hours of naps and dozing which seem to make me leave everything behind. my writing has tapered out, ive kinda come out of it again as one might tell from the lack of posts and the lack of content. i dont want to go back and i am.

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