Brains!

This Blog

My blog could be considered a dangerous thing. I don't think it is. Everything I write is completely honest. Some posts are commentary, some posts are stories, some are boring, some are fun. Most often it's a window into the part of my subconscious that cannot be communicated verbally. It's meant to be the place I spill, organize and store my abstract hidden things. You can really access a lot about me through the blog, and it's partially there for that purpose. To find out the things I cannot say, and don't necessarily need to be said. But its also a tool for me, the process of writing/blogging is therapy in some sense. However, there's a lot missing. To read it, and to think that it is all of me, would be very wrong. That's why it can be misleading. A lot of people read it, and they misinterpret. No one really knows what I actually mean by a lot of the things I say, and that's not my problem. Like I said, its only there partially for the purpose of letting people into that part of me, the rest is there for me, for my subconscious to come out. To take it literally would be a dangerous thing for the reader.

Important Pieces

In that space where infinity above meets immensity below we see the first sign of a new dawn. Dark always gives way to light; for a brief moment nothing is forbidden, everything is possible. But what would we do if the light never came? Maybe we would lie down. Maybe we could go back to sleep. Maybe we could wake up. - Adbusters

The minute I heard my first love story I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was. Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere; they’re in each other all along. - Jelaluddin Rumi (1207-1273)

Adopt the pace of nature: Her secret is patience. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"The poet Rilke was afraid that if he got rid of his demons, he would lose his angels as well. Of course the danger of clinging to our demons to save our angels is that our demons may well take over." - Tim Farrington

Amnesia is not knowing who one is and wanting desperately to find out. Euphoria is not knowing who one is and not caring. Ecstasy is knowing exactly who one is-and still not caring.
- Tom Robbins

I am receiving an award. It’s the “Achievement in Disappointing” award.

I am beginning to wonder if I should cut myself off completely from my parents. I wonder if that would relieve something. I love them dearly, but I can’t be with them, I can’t rely on them any more its only setting me back. Am I being too drastic? Maybe it’s the fact that I can hardly stand to let them do things for me anymore because I have failed so miserably this past semester academically. It seems that’s all they want sometimes, and for good reasons.

In other fields of my life I sprang forward just as I have always wanted, and grew cynical and evil in some respects recently like aftershocks. But that is something I should not worry about right now.

Right now I am worried about how I will get from point A to point B with $30 in my pocket and $80 in the bank. Why didn’t I start sooner? Why didn’t I apply myself to fucking life sooner? Why can’t we all live in damn trees and eat pineapples all day in the sunshine. That is always what I say, and it is the symbol of my laziness, pineapples and sunshine. Today I can feel my stomach. Today I can feel my shoulders tense and that weird wraith like feeling is creeping through them. Why haven’t I looked for a job sooner? Why cant I get my act together still, and show everyone that I can take care of myself and do well? Why do I write this shit instead of doing it? I think by writing I am relieving myself and that is a good thing, but I’m letting myself off the hook. I have more to say about this but alas I must go and speak with my father about this whole thing.

This Blog

Important Pieces

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

0 comments:

Post a Comment

About Me

Search This Blog

Blog Archive

Followers