Brains!

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My blog could be considered a dangerous thing. I don't think it is. Everything I write is completely honest. Some posts are commentary, some posts are stories, some are boring, some are fun. Most often it's a window into the part of my subconscious that cannot be communicated verbally. It's meant to be the place I spill, organize and store my abstract hidden things. You can really access a lot about me through the blog, and it's partially there for that purpose. To find out the things I cannot say, and don't necessarily need to be said. But its also a tool for me, the process of writing/blogging is therapy in some sense. However, there's a lot missing. To read it, and to think that it is all of me, would be very wrong. That's why it can be misleading. A lot of people read it, and they misinterpret. No one really knows what I actually mean by a lot of the things I say, and that's not my problem. Like I said, its only there partially for the purpose of letting people into that part of me, the rest is there for me, for my subconscious to come out. To take it literally would be a dangerous thing for the reader.

Important Pieces

In that space where infinity above meets immensity below we see the first sign of a new dawn. Dark always gives way to light; for a brief moment nothing is forbidden, everything is possible. But what would we do if the light never came? Maybe we would lie down. Maybe we could go back to sleep. Maybe we could wake up. - Adbusters

The minute I heard my first love story I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was. Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere; they’re in each other all along. - Jelaluddin Rumi (1207-1273)

Adopt the pace of nature: Her secret is patience. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"The poet Rilke was afraid that if he got rid of his demons, he would lose his angels as well. Of course the danger of clinging to our demons to save our angels is that our demons may well take over." - Tim Farrington

Amnesia is not knowing who one is and wanting desperately to find out. Euphoria is not knowing who one is and not caring. Ecstasy is knowing exactly who one is-and still not caring.
- Tom Robbins

I went to see the HSU Calypso band saturday night. was one of the best things i have done here. Pulled not so reluctantly to my feet by the sight of a bunch people dancing. the music was excellent and i danced the whole night. i danced with a girl who later told me as she served me dinner in the j that she could sense i was stressed based on my energy ora i that i was unaware existed. i danced with ruby and the girls who all seemed to have the whole latin shuffle down, quite jealous. i danced with emo kid matt, so great. i danced with a couple of older folks. i just let the whole atmosphere envelope me till i was dizzy with confidence. i let loose i suppose and stopped caring about everything and the steel drum was like the boat i was ridining on.

In everything i do i try and see the worst. and then i look for the good. fear is the butter i coat everything with before it has even begun to manifest itself. my mum comes tomorrow. driving up in my car which i am excited to drive about humbolt in. i dont want to see my mother only becuase i know once i do, it will settle that i am actually leaving. that i will be in a dangerous state of returning back to some form of what i used to be. but there i go again spreading lashings and lashings of butter. really you are moving forward all the time. and now that i think about it seriously, i know that i will never go back. ive come so far with everyone and everythign old and new.
so at home i will have brought with me a chaotic entourage of the things i have picked up and just stuffed into a sack, still to be dumped out and sorted. if i ever oranize these things i might find the meaning of life. just kidding we all know the meaning of life is 42. but really i might just figure out what i learned this year. what i am still gonna keep building and tearing down over the rest of my life. but that current will always be there, underneath everything, and everday new boats are finding it and joining the old to create this massive fleet of ships that is the real me, that never changes.

This Blog

Important Pieces

Monday, May 9, 2005

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