Brains!

I have all these amazing things I want to write down, when I'm walking around, working, driving...but then I come back home sit at my desk...and brain farts commence.

I think my whole "Yes Man" philosophy has led me to the path of not being able to sort out what to do first in all my wants. I'm trying to do them all, but it's difficult without treading on hearts, or betraying other wants. I can't have my cake and eat it too. I can't figure out how to approach it, because before I never had cake, cause I never made myself cakes, and cakes were never thrown at me the way they seem to be these days. Do you understand my cake analogy? I suppose as things settle down a little bit, and I get some sort of routine back I might be able to figure out priorities, or which wants are more dear to me than other wants, or which needs are needed more than other needs, and only with experiences to compare do I feel like I'll gain my footing again. But I don't see that happening for a while. Especially because time is required for some, and the things I am filling that time up with either won't end or start for a little while. The next following few tids and bits are part of those things.

Going to School Again
First of all, I'm not really feeling the SMC campus vibe. I mean they've remodeled parts of it, but meh, I guess I'm just spoiled. I feel like I've downgraded. Wow I'm a snob. But I miss my Humboldt! Oh well, the roll-away classroom my class is in, is dingy broken down and reminds me of high school in a peculiar sort of way. My professor, who unfortunately sports a name I'm not too keen to say or hear at the moment, but seems to be a good fit for the type of class I'm taking: career Planning. Although I have a generalized idea of my goals, working through this course work will help to challenge my ideas of what I really think I can do based on values, personality, skills and interests. Then I can explore the options, and get more specific so I can figure out what my next step is. Sorry to sound all Hermoine Grainger but I'm desperate for more homework! I mean we'll get some, but I found myself sitting in class taking notes on ridiculous portions of the discussion, talking way too much (oh my gosh I'm one of those annoying students who won't shut up), and playing with my notebook (I have an old blank Humboldt one yippee!). I'm sure to get something out of this course. The only downside is that most other students are international, and can't speak a lick of English. I swear, you should hear the questions they ask...I'm not sure they could complete the homework let alone read the syllabus. It really slowed the class down, but that's SMC for ya.

In other news
I'm actually going to visit Humboldt. Even though the opportunity came up through annoying and ridiculous circumstances, I'm going to make the most of it. And now I can't freaking wait to be there. Although of course I'd rather be flying back to Oz, I've been meaning to see Humboldt since I left it. I'm curious to know what shape it will take in my heart again. It changed me so profoundly, that I'm sure the experience there will be a trippy one. Humbrews I want your wings, Renata I want your crepes, camel rock and college cove here I come! My plan is to fit in as much as I possibly can. If no one will go with me, I'm going alone, and that's the great thing, I remember how to get around, where to go and when!

The bad news
HOW THIS HAPPENED I DO NOT KNOW...well I do know. Pantha Du Prince came to LA last Friday, and of course his actual website didn't update his tour dates so I had no idea about it. I found out this morning when I discovered his facebook fan page. Now I feel crushed! He'll probably not come back to the states anytime soon, and I may have missed my only chance to see him live ever. 'Black Noise' has really been my theme album, not through the initial pain of what's happened, but the parts after where I started to wake up inside, feel free, even happy, all the way to Australia and back, to where I am now, pretty damn content with where my rudder-less life is leading me. Oh well, my Friday was pretty damn good, it would have been worse if I had gotten home and was sitting on my ass all night, well...I mean nevermind. Anyway today I finally see what Pantha Du Prince looks like in real life, he's pretty damn cute too!