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My blog could be considered a dangerous thing. I don't think it is. Everything I write is completely honest. Some posts are commentary, some posts are stories, some are boring, some are fun. Most often it's a window into the part of my subconscious that cannot be communicated verbally. It's meant to be the place I spill, organize and store my abstract hidden things. You can really access a lot about me through the blog, and it's partially there for that purpose. To find out the things I cannot say, and don't necessarily need to be said. But its also a tool for me, the process of writing/blogging is therapy in some sense. However, there's a lot missing. To read it, and to think that it is all of me, would be very wrong. That's why it can be misleading. A lot of people read it, and they misinterpret. No one really knows what I actually mean by a lot of the things I say, and that's not my problem. Like I said, its only there partially for the purpose of letting people into that part of me, the rest is there for me, for my subconscious to come out. To take it literally would be a dangerous thing for the reader.

Important Pieces

In that space where infinity above meets immensity below we see the first sign of a new dawn. Dark always gives way to light; for a brief moment nothing is forbidden, everything is possible. But what would we do if the light never came? Maybe we would lie down. Maybe we could go back to sleep. Maybe we could wake up. - Adbusters

The minute I heard my first love story I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was. Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere; they’re in each other all along. - Jelaluddin Rumi (1207-1273)

Adopt the pace of nature: Her secret is patience. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"The poet Rilke was afraid that if he got rid of his demons, he would lose his angels as well. Of course the danger of clinging to our demons to save our angels is that our demons may well take over." - Tim Farrington

Amnesia is not knowing who one is and wanting desperately to find out. Euphoria is not knowing who one is and not caring. Ecstasy is knowing exactly who one is-and still not caring.
- Tom Robbins

I keep reaffirming what I already know about myself. These bullets are all interconnected, and related to each other. It's cyclical.

-I can't lie...I'm incapable of lying, literally.
-I am not able to hurt other people, I cannot live with the guilt.
-I'm too loyal for my own good.
-I'm too selfless, self deprecating, and you really do need to love yourself before others.
-My honesty gets me into trouble, and doesn't save me from hurting other people.
-I'm absolutely incapable of emotionally being connected, or committed to single person at this point in life.
-I'm still pretty fucked up over what happened to me, and the residual side effects are making themselves known.
-The promises I made to myself, are still more important than anyone else in my life, and no matter how lonely I get, I know if I don't do this now I will regret it, and secretly want things in the future.
-I'm learning new things about me everyday, while discovering who I really am through the process.
-Being 'single' is scary, confusing, and mean...how do you let people in, and then let them go? How can people take that risk? Or do that to other people?

This Blog

Important Pieces

Sunday, June 20, 2010

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