Brains!

This Blog

My blog could be considered a dangerous thing. I don't think it is. Everything I write is completely honest. Some posts are commentary, some posts are stories, some are boring, some are fun. Most often it's a window into the part of my subconscious that cannot be communicated verbally. It's meant to be the place I spill, organize and store my abstract hidden things. You can really access a lot about me through the blog, and it's partially there for that purpose. To find out the things I cannot say, and don't necessarily need to be said. But its also a tool for me, the process of writing/blogging is therapy in some sense. However, there's a lot missing. To read it, and to think that it is all of me, would be very wrong. That's why it can be misleading. A lot of people read it, and they misinterpret. No one really knows what I actually mean by a lot of the things I say, and that's not my problem. Like I said, its only there partially for the purpose of letting people into that part of me, the rest is there for me, for my subconscious to come out. To take it literally would be a dangerous thing for the reader.

Important Pieces

In that space where infinity above meets immensity below we see the first sign of a new dawn. Dark always gives way to light; for a brief moment nothing is forbidden, everything is possible. But what would we do if the light never came? Maybe we would lie down. Maybe we could go back to sleep. Maybe we could wake up. - Adbusters

The minute I heard my first love story I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was. Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere; they’re in each other all along. - Jelaluddin Rumi (1207-1273)

Adopt the pace of nature: Her secret is patience. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"The poet Rilke was afraid that if he got rid of his demons, he would lose his angels as well. Of course the danger of clinging to our demons to save our angels is that our demons may well take over." - Tim Farrington

Amnesia is not knowing who one is and wanting desperately to find out. Euphoria is not knowing who one is and not caring. Ecstasy is knowing exactly who one is-and still not caring.
- Tom Robbins

so i found out through conversation that what i want are arms that i can hide in. curl up and stay there safe. I guess ive only had four pairs of arms that i have felt safe in. Today i walked by the laundary room and suddenly i though i was in olgas house, her hugging me and making everything brighter somehow. She and anna in selected moments have made everything better, and when i catch hints of them in places its lovely. my mothers arms tight and bony. when i was a little girl they were the safest place i could find. now i dont know what they would do for me, probably nothings changed. there was another pair too and that brand are what i seem to want right now. "I would reach across the grand canyon to be in arms like those" i said in this conversation. "its the best feeling in the world". i dont know if ill ever have arms like those again, have a feeling from that contact again. and now that i know it i want it more.

This Blog

Important Pieces

Thursday, April 7, 2005

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