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My blog could be considered a dangerous thing. I don't think it is. Everything I write is completely honest. Some posts are commentary, some posts are stories, some are boring, some are fun. Most often it's a window into the part of my subconscious that cannot be communicated verbally. It's meant to be the place I spill, organize and store my abstract hidden things. You can really access a lot about me through the blog, and it's partially there for that purpose. To find out the things I cannot say, and don't necessarily need to be said. But its also a tool for me, the process of writing/blogging is therapy in some sense. However, there's a lot missing. To read it, and to think that it is all of me, would be very wrong. That's why it can be misleading. A lot of people read it, and they misinterpret. No one really knows what I actually mean by a lot of the things I say, and that's not my problem. Like I said, its only there partially for the purpose of letting people into that part of me, the rest is there for me, for my subconscious to come out. To take it literally would be a dangerous thing for the reader.

Important Pieces

In that space where infinity above meets immensity below we see the first sign of a new dawn. Dark always gives way to light; for a brief moment nothing is forbidden, everything is possible. But what would we do if the light never came? Maybe we would lie down. Maybe we could go back to sleep. Maybe we could wake up. - Adbusters

The minute I heard my first love story I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was. Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere; they’re in each other all along. - Jelaluddin Rumi (1207-1273)

Adopt the pace of nature: Her secret is patience. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"The poet Rilke was afraid that if he got rid of his demons, he would lose his angels as well. Of course the danger of clinging to our demons to save our angels is that our demons may well take over." - Tim Farrington

Amnesia is not knowing who one is and wanting desperately to find out. Euphoria is not knowing who one is and not caring. Ecstasy is knowing exactly who one is-and still not caring.
- Tom Robbins

I am putting on my own wings.

To start
I wrote these last week, seeking serenity:
Looking out of my bedroom's french windows. Watching rain or wind in the desert. Experiencing storms rolling towards me, moving over the Arcata bottoms, as seen from Founders Hall. Jordan driving on a hot day, all the windows rolled down. Rivers moving through meadows and woods and great stone parapets.

Next
I must keep as busy as possible. When I got to work I sort of made a scene. I found a quiet desk in the atrium, after convincing my boss the best thing for me was not to wallow around in bed, but to work. And I was right, I know myself you see, keeping busy is the best thing I can do.

Set Back
It happened, whatever. It didn't change my course, I was already on it.

Next Step
I printed a 7 day pass to 24 hour, which is right next to my work. Did you know that 24 hours website has live chat? It took 1 minute for them to type, "Guess what, and I know you will like this..." then a minute later "...you can use your 7 day pass at any location". Typing in English must not be this reps first language. Yes I know for a fact that 24 hour outsourced their billing. Anyway point is I'm going after work tomorrow, and the day after, and so on, and then I'll join again. I'm starting with my body, starting with my health.

After this
The possibilities are endless. First make appointment with Dr.

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Important Pieces

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

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