Brains!

need
function noun
Necessary duty, obligation. A lack of something requisite. A condition requiring supply or relief. Lack of the means of subsistence.

want
function verb
To desire to come, go, or be.

I actually slept really well last night. I didn't wake up. Maybe it was because I'm so exhausted from emotional trauma. But I think it was because I don't need Jordan anymore then he needs me. But I want him, and I think he wants me too. He made a terrible mistake. I think with time its settling in to me. Clearly I'm going to have setbacks, and I don't think I'll ever get to that stone hard place. But I know that I offer something different, that difference is what people like about me. I lost that 'know' about myself, because it was a root of confidence that needs some tender care.

Dream: I had a dream that I was in a range rover trying to forge a river in the dark, in reverse. I think I was in reverse, because last night I backed out of Jack's driveway the whole distance in reverse, I never get the chance to do that, so it must have had weight in my dream. Anyway it was dark, the water was only like 6 inches, but it was raining. I had no idea why I was crossing this river, in someone elses' car no less, in fact I get the strangest sense I was moving it for them. After that I woke up 7 sharp, as usual.