Brains!

I've been talking to people who've cheated. It never occurred to me that a first time cheater, could have trust issues after also. Some people don't know what they are capable of, and when they commit, they don't know whether they can trust themselves in future relationships, let alone trying to salvage what they shit on in the first place, regardless of why.

I'm beginning to wonder if there is anyone out there who hasn't participated in one way, in seeking what they are not getting from their relationship from some one else. I suppose it's what you do after that matters, in regards to the person who's being cheated. Telling them before would be great, "hey listen, I think I'm in danger of being tempted" either break up or work through it. I think that option is 90% impossible for people. Telling them as soon as possible after the first incident, no matter whether you think it could never happen again, is the decent thing to do. Guh going over all the things I said and thought about her, and how I was told I was basically 'being annoying for asking', even when I had no suspicions anything sexual was going on at that point, rubs me the wrong way so much. So many chances to just come clean...so cowardly.

I think cheating is one of the more human behaviors, it's almost primal, inherent or something. Gotta spread our seeds, keep the gene pool vast. I'm pretty much on the bandwagon with humans not being monogamous. I think jealousy is an emotion we evolved as a direct result of cheating, or slippin' out of the cave, and in the woods with so and so. Love probably evolved for taking care of babies. Both are about surviving and passing on one's genes. But I feel our biological makeup is for another post. Either way, I I'm guilty, to some extent, but no where on the level of many other people. Pushing away a kiss, and telling the Old Lamp twenty minutes later is a lot different to what the Stone did. It doesn't mean I'm not guilty. I knew I was tempted to be with other people, or wanted to be. When you get those feelings, does it automatically mean the relationship you are in is over? Does that signal the moment the love has turned from being in-love, to just loving?

It's clearly not that cut and dry. These things are severely complicated, and I think because it's so 'primal' it's hard to wrap a logical analysis around it. It's like our bodies, our minds are acting on instinct. But what also makes us human, is our ability to be brave, compassionate, considerate, respect and selfless at the same time. Coming clean, even prevention by discussion or ending it before it could happen, are the decent things to do.