Brains!

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The past 24 hours have really proved to me, that I am a whole person. I don't need anyone else to tell me that either. I mean yes I discovered it because of other people, but I mean to say, I trust my heart. It knows exactly what it wants, and what it doesn't, and it's more powerful and wise than I will ever be. If I listen to it, I'll know exactly what to do, without fear, without regret, and it will be true to me.

My heart is still broken, still betrayed, still ill. I still cry, I still get moments of sheer panic, and extreme pain when I learn anything about the stone in the present...who he's 'defriended', a passing picture, etc. It is clear I'm still not over it, because of that pain. My heart has learned what it really wants, but is wise to know it's gone, and probably will never exist. A test had to be presented, to know for sure. I do know too now, my heart can be reawakened when the right time comes, but that time is not now, and definitely not with this easy way out. My heart knows there is a future in some weird sporadic, and forgiveness is possible.

Learning about the moon again, letting the waters run wild...digging in to my past, remembering blocked out memories...along with therapy and mum's absence, I've had little to no contact with the people who say I should be doing this, I should be doing that. Being on my own these past couple weeks, being just me...slowing down, listening to my heart, paying attention to what I want, not what anyone else thrusts upon me, their opinions or otherwise, has been the best thing I have done for myself in my entire life.

It's amazing what my the human heart is capable of, I cherish mine.