Brains!

Today...I came across something about the stone. I've taken a lot of steps to avoid 'eye slaps' BUT things still get through my fortress. When I saw this picture I felt like someone suddenly reached in the center of my chest and twisted with poison. I haven't felt the physical pain in a couple weeks, but it suddenly cropped up. Probably more sensitive due to hormones. But I'm just wondering how often this might happen to me in the future. If this type of pain will spring up over and over no matter where I go, who I'm with, or what I'm doing in life. It's horribly crippling. My breathe goes shallow, and the back of my throat tightens up, and I can't even pin point thoughts in my head.

There are so many great things happening to me, so many opportunities in my future, I have amazing people in my life, I'm experiencing so many happy and fun and exciting moments. I'm doing what I want to do, and feeling really good about myself in many ways. But it's still there. I'm still heartbroken, and I still have ridiculous notions.